Grandpas

Well, we have a new granddaughter.  Actually, she was “new” some nine months ago, but is just now making her appearance into the world.  She joins our other three grandkids in a family that relishes relationships, knows it takes a village, and cares passionately about each other.  I don’t know the other side of the family all that well, but suspect many of these same qualities could be attributed to them as well…so there’s no escaping for her.  She’ll be loved regardless!

It’s kind of a strange vocation, this job of being a grandpa.  Grandpas are not expected to be parents.  They’re supportive, non-judgmental, and even-keeled.  Yet, when called for, grandpas are to provide correction and training, perhaps of the kind that parents struggle with or for whatever reason cannot get through to the grandkid.

Grandpas love unconditionally.  Grandpas bring gifts and treats.  They have things in their pockets such as quarters for the trinket machines at the restaurant.  Grandpas do things, and allow the grandkids to do things that they normally wouldn’t be able to do (like not having to clean up one’s plate before ice cream treats, or allowing more jelly on a piece of toast than a parent would allow).  They act as a rudder when needed, and an oar when necessary.

Grandpas ferry grandkids to school, the doctor, or elsewhere when called on to do so.  They make pancakes and homemade syrup.  They tell about the olden days.  And they talk about people previously unknown, great aunts, cousins, and great grandfathers and mothers, who are in that child’s heritage.

Grandpas help their grandkids learn to ride a bicycle.  They give them a ride on the riding lawn mower, even when Mom doesn’t like it very much.  They mail letters to their grandkids addressed to “Master” or “Miss”.  They tickle (appropriately) and “get” ears, noses, and other assorted (appropriate) body parts.  They sing parts of old songs that they know only parts of, when it seems appropriate to do so (or even when it doesn’t seem so).  They say funny things, tell funny poems, and rhyme funny rhymes.

They read books 30, 40, or even 50 times and watch Dora the Explorer, Thomas the Tank Engine, My Little Pony, and Bob the Builder enough times to know all of the plot lines (such as they are).  They play the Winnie the Pooh song & video on their Androids and take the grandkids to church, reinforcing parental teaching to be quiet and reverent.

Grandpas wash off the front porch and siding when the spiders make webs and the dirt blows in.  They bring over the Roundup and kill out the Bermuda grass that grows in the driveway cracks and flower beds.  They trim the tree in the back yard and clean out the cooling coils of the air conditioner unit.  And they wonder how they could get a sandbox in the back yard without Mom having a cow.

Grandpas support grandmas and enable them to ooo and aah, spoil the grandkids, buy them Easter outfits, Christmas presents, and birthday cakes, and generally have a great time being a grandma.

But most of all, grandpas support Mom and Dad…helping them to understand what love truly is, validating their authority and their decisions, and providing counsel when asked (and knowing when to provide it even when not asked).  Grandpas pray for the family, the kids, the school teachers, the other grandparents, and the kids’ friends.  And they’re just a little wistful that they probably will not be around to see the full maturity of these gifts from God, but nevertheless wouldn’t have it any other way.

Banking on a Promise

This week has been different so far, to say the least.  I’ll not bore you with the details, but they include the lead minister being on vacation, two relatively unexpected deaths in the congregation, a relative of ours who is in the hospital here in Wichita, and other more minor things.

I don’t do Facebook to the point that many others do Facebook, but I enjoy keeping up with those who are my friends, and I cherish the connections that we now have through that medium that we would not otherwise have.  I post things sometimes, and most of the time try not to be too serious about it all.  As I get older, I have begun to see that being tough, hard-nosed, and too serious about many things get in the way of life and living as I believe God intended.  Yes, I am concerned about such things as the ongoing drought, the situation in Syria, the various fiscal crises, health care, and a myriad of other issues.  But I am becoming less and less polarized, and hopefully less and less polarizing regarding these things because I am more and more seeing that there are no easy answers.  And there are usually at least two sides, and many times more than that, to every issue.

I’ve often wondered what, besides advancing age, may be prompting a gradual change in my world view.  Where everything used to be pretty much black and white, now I see many more colors and shades of gray.  I’m not certain, but wonder if my association with the church might have something to do with it.

I work as minister to adults and seniors in an inner-city church that serves an ever-changing and ever-evolving inner-city clientele.  However, the issues change very little over time.  Hunger, homelessness, poor health, poverty, addictions, and inappropriate behaviors seem to cover many of the issues we and they face together.  These issues are, for the most part, chronic, persistent, stubborn, and intractable.  We know that our efforts as well as the efforts of countless others (including government), won’t solve the problems.

However, we aren’t told by Jesus to solve the problems of the world.  We are told to love our neighbor as ourselves, and to love one another (Mark 12, Romans 13).  And Paul, the great apostle to the gentiles, tells us in his dissertation on love in I Corinthians 13, that “Love never fails.”  And loving our neighbor as ourselves means that whatever we would want for ourselves, we want for our neighbor.  Loving means that we desire the best for someone else, even if it means that we are consumed in the process.

So, if we desire to have a roof over our heads, food in our stomachs, and good physical health, in some way we need to work to make those things a reality for our neighbor.  Why?  Because we have to?  No, because we are children of the living God, ourselves being loved by God to the extent that He grants us grace and mercy and favor and forgiveness and sonship.

Loving one another may NOT mean that we throw fifty-dollar bills over the railing of the First Street bridge just outside our back doors down to the homeless who live under it.  But it may mean that we not only desire the best for them; we actively work to help them in whatever capacity we can.  Whether that be to provide a voice for them in political and community circles, obtaining an address for them so they can apply for assistance, praying for them and for those who interact with them, encouraging and enabling training, education, and good health habits, or whatever it be that they are willing to embrace, we need to do what we can.

Yes, love never fails.  I’m finding that I can bank on that promise.  What about you?

With Any Luck...

Beginning last Sunday evening, I attended a conference on leadership here in Wichita.  It lasted until Wednesday noon.  All meals, motel room charges, and even parking fees were provided by those hosting the conference…the Kansas Leadership Institute funded by a grant from the Kansas Health Foundation.  The conference was held at the Hyatt downtown.  And even though they said they got a good deal from the Hyatt, you know they spent a ton of money on rooms, food, and other things for the conference.

They served breakfast every day at 7:30am.  Then they had not only coffee and tea, but fancy home-brewed flavored waters and juices.  About 10am they wheeled in a snack cart filled with breads, cheeses, nuts, and other things most of which I had no clue what they were.

Lunch was at the Hyatt and consisted of two meats, one of which was a fish, along with all the fixings.  Mid afternoon, another snack cart was wheeled in with all manner of nuts fruits, candies, crackers, and other things again most of which I had no idea what were.  There must have been at least 30 selections on each of the snack carts…not the three or four one is used to in venues such as this.

The evening meal Sunday was on them.  Monday it was on us.  Tuesday’s evening dinner was at the Museum of World Treasures, and was catered in.  They had a band along with a speaker; and we were encouraged to wander the closed museum.

Wednesday morning breakfast was simpler…consisting of quiche and some breads, juices, etc.  Wednesday noon we left the conference with a box lunch.

I say all of that to say this:  although I immensely enjoyed the conference and the perks (mostly food perks) that came with it, when Wednesday evening came after church and we were finding something to eat, I immediately drove to an all night pancake restaurant and ordered a burger and fries.  That’s it.  A burger and fries.  And it was about the best-tasting burger I’d had in years.

I’m sorry. I’m just not a foo foo guy.  I love trying new foods, cheeses, breads, etc.  But three days of constant bombardment with things I can’t pronounce even if I DID know what they were was enough.  Just slice me some fresh tomatoes, set out the cantaloupe, heat up some canned peas, fry a minute steak, and I’m set for the evening.

And by the way, it’s been at least 20 years since I’ve had quiche.  With any luck, it’ll be 20 more.

My Own Ranting and Raving

I continue to see laws made (and later declared unconstitutional) limiting the right of someone’s speech.  Many of these laws attempt to regulate (and eventually eliminate) the speech of a certain congregation in Topeka, Kansas as they picket various funerals and other venues across the nation.

Make no mistake.  I’ve seen these people picket on the street.  I’ve heard what they have to say.  I am appalled by what they say.  I am stunned by the hate of their speech.  And I am embarrassed to say that I’m from the same state as they.  But I do not wish to limit their right of free speech just so I won’t have to deal with them any more.  And the simple reason I don’t is that when their speech is limited, so is mine.  And so is yours.

Whether this group from Topeka, the Ku Klux Klan, the Communist Party, the Aryan Nations, or Hindus, Mormons, or Christians, all speech by all people is limited when anyone’s speech is limited.

You may have the freedom to say what you want now…but what happens if government becomes hostile to Christianity, to religion in general, or to any specific group or association, political, religious, or otherwise, that you may have a relationship with?  Law is established in part upon precedent.  If there is precedent in silencing someone whose speech is considered hateful and tormenting (the Topeka folks), that precedent can and will be used to silence you and me.

No, we can’t yell “Fire!” in a crowded theater unless there really is a fire.  No, we can’t slander someone.  No, we can’t lie under oath.  There are practical and well-established limits that are beneficial to society as a whole.  But a bunch of knot heads standing on a street corner holding signs and shouting slogans having to do with sexual orientation, funerals, and what they believe to be the fate of the nation bother me not a bit.  They can picket the funeral of anyone I am related to or love, or mine for that matter, and I won’t care at all.

Why do we let them control us?  Why do we allow this bunch of idiots to make decisions for us regarding how we are going to feel and what we are going to think?  Why do we give them permission to upset us, make us angry, or fight back?  You do know, don’t you, that is exactly what they want you to do.  They want you to react.  They want you to be upset.  They want to have control over your emotions and thoughts.  Aren’t you better than that?  Aren’t you more mature than that?

Many people don’t agree with me.  Many people didn’t agree with me when I said that flag-burning and desecration would (and should) be upheld as protected speech.  That doesn’t matter.  You have the right, under the first amendment, to your speech.  I have the right to mine.  It’s people who fight and die for freedom (much gratitude to all who serve) who continually work to establish the Constitution as the supreme law of the land.  And like this comment or not, it’s people like those folks from Topeka, Kansas who have made certain that right is for ALL of us…not just those of us who are currently politically correct.

I'm Back

I’ve taken sort of a sabbatical from writing in this blog for awhile.  Pretty much the whole month of July has gone by without any writing here.  I have another blog on our church website that I’ve kept current (once a week or so), but this one has suffered.  Or, depending on how you look at it, it’s kind of refreshing to not have to read my drivel.

A lot has gone by the window this past month.  Several times, I thought about sitting down and writing about this or that, but just didn’t seem to have the “oomph” needed to get started.  I’m thinking a lot of it has to do with the heat outside.  One hundred degree days are common again this summer and we’ve had a month’s worth.  The extended forecast doesn’t bode well for cooler air and rain.

I know we live in air conditioned comfort and are hardly outdoors any more.  But it seems that just KNOWING about the oppressive heat out there makes one more lethargic than normal and less prone to possess the energy one has when the air is crisp and the earth has been generously watered from above.  Probably having to do with the lack of energy is also the body’s lack of adequate hydration during times like this.  Because we’re in cool, dry air most of the time, we don’t feel thirsty.  Yet we lose water even in the air conditioning because of the dry air.  And it doesn’t take but just a few seconds of 110 degree heat outdoors to cause us to start losing fluids.  I don’t know about you, but when I am low on water, I don’t feel very energetic.

And then there’s that summer “wait” attitude.  Wait until school starts.  Wait until it rains.  Wait until vacations are over.  Wait until it gets cooler.  We learn to wait on and for things we normally would not, even when there’s no good reason to put off doing something.  It becomes difficult enough to do the things that have to be done, let alone do those things that can be pushed back a day or two.

So, in any event, I’m back, for whatever that is worth.  Hopefully, about every week or so I’ll regale you with yet another observation, story, or just thoughts.  Certainly, there’s enough to write about; it’s just finding the wherewithal to do it.