Communication

As I sit in my office at the church, I hear things going on down the hall, in the secretary’s office, and in other offices in the area.  Sometimes the conversations are animated; sometimes they are hushed.  Sometimes three or more are in the same conversation; sometimes it’s just between two people, or one person on the telephone.

Sometimes the conversations are intense.  Other times they’re light hearted and funny.  Still others are more routine, such as those giving out information or directions.  Sometimes someone will stop in and want to use the bathroom facilities or get a drink of water.  Still others want to know where our food pantry is located (across the street) or want to visit with a minister.  The conversations are many and varied.

I have to wonder about this thing called communication.  On the surface it seems such an easy thing to accomplish.  The word literally means, “The exchange of information between people by means of speaking, writing, or using a common system of signs or behavior.”  One would think that members of the human race who share a common language and behavioral signs would be able to communicate very well and without much problem.

Such doesn’t seem to be the case, however.  Good communication is difficult at best sometimes.  Many books have been written; many seminars attended; many lectures given; all with the idea of helping humans better communicate.  We don’t hear what the other person says.  We miss words in a written communication or have a different opinion of what that word or phrase means.  We can get so jumbled up with mis-communication that we, frustrated, just stop all communication attempts for awhile.

I could say something simple like, “It’s cold outside.”  That could mean many things depending on the time of year, my sensitivity to cold, what I consider to be cold, or whether the wind is blowing or snow is on the ground.  It could also mean something different if I was talking about the attitude of persons who were outside, even if it was a hundred degrees in July.  There could even be a difference of opinion on just where “outside” really is.  Is it on the carport?  In the garage?  Under a bridge where the homeless are?

And why would I even say that sentence to begin with?  Am I getting ready to go outside and want to know what I should wear?  Am I concerned about the homeless and those who are working outside in the cold?  Is the temperature lower than normal in August?  Or am I just making conversation?  All of these color my statement and give a little different edge to the meaning.

When we look at all the variables, it’s a wonder we communicate as well as we do.  No wonder when legislatures pass bills, they include a section that defines what certain words in the legislation mean.  And they sometimes have rather torturous definitions just so the meaning and intent of the legislation is clear.  Some of the biggest legal battles in courts are over the meaning of words and phrases and what the legislature intended when they passed the bill.

So, the next time you hear a conversation, even in passing, know that there is a complex mixture at work within your mind helping you sort out just what is meant.  And understand that you cannot possibly perfectly interpret what is being said, and indeed may be way off the mark.  So don’t get too upset or fly off the handle too quickly until you are certain you understand what is trying to be communicated by the other person or persons.

And work on your own communication skills.  They aren’t perfect either.  Cut some slack.  Give a break.  Work at it.