Some Days...

 Some days it just hits.  I think many of us know the feeling.  There are days and times within our days when we just don’t want to do anything.  Nothing.  Those times hit me just like they probably hit many of you.

Today, for example, I had a few things to do on my calendar.  Pick up some food for the food pantry.  Lunch with staff.  A dental hygiene visit this afternoon.  Nothing extraordinary for me.  But for some reason unknown to me, about mid-morning today as I was sitting by myself, something washed over me that caused me to deeply groan, move my hands through my hair, and wish I could just go home and sleep the day away in a dark, quiet room.  They call that anxiety, I think.  One definition goes like this:  A state of apprehension, uncertainty, and fear resulting from the anticipation of a realistic or fantasized threatening event or situation, often impairing physical and psychological functioning.

I’m not sure what I was anticipating today.  Nor do I suspect that it was anything realistic…whatever it was.  But at that particular time, I was basically frozen, unable to think of much of anything except wanting to just go away for the day into a cocoon.  Thankfully, it only lasted a couple of minutes, and I snapped out of it and continued on with my day.

Once I began to think more clearly and process, I thought that some of my apprehension might be coming from my work as an Elder of our church.  There are some heavy things going on with some of our members right now.  As Elders, one of our responsibilities is to help shepherd those folks through their difficulties as best we can.  Inevitably, we begin to feel the weight of what is on their shoulders as we work with them.  I presume that’s part of what Jesus meant when he told us to help “bear one-another’s burdens.”

Second, my calendar is usually pretty much open.  But today for some reason, it’s rather full.  As I thought about what is on the schedule, I began to anticipate any problems or issues that could come today, rather than the opportunities I had to help and serve.  I think that contributed to some of my apprehension and anxiety.

Third, I think older age may play a part.  I’m not as vigorous as I once was.  I hurt more.  I’m more careful when walking or doing anything of a physical nature, acutely aware of my limitations.  Some of what I had to do today was rather physical in nature.  My mind still thinks I can do some of these things, but my body tells me differently.  That can be somewhat depressing and lead to some kind of avoidance of the whole situation.

I have had these brief encounters with anxiety rather regularly for many years.  Sometimes, they come minutes before we set out on a long road trip.  I think about all the things that can go wrong, and whether or not I have planned appropriately.  Then, when I actually get up and go to the car, it all goes away and I once again look forward to the trip.

Other times, they will come maybe the night before when I know I’ll have a really busy day the next day.  I wonder how we’ll get through the day, but when that day actually comes and goes, I wonder what I was worried about.

And sometimes, it will just come for no apparent reason.  I’ll just have this “cloud” of sorts fall over me with an accompanying sense of dread and gloom.  Again, it doesn’t last but a minute or two and I sort of snap out of it and go on with life and living.

Based on some quick Internet research, it seems that over half of the population in the USmay have, at some time or another, low levels of anxiety.  Levels that need no treatment, or very little treatment, and can be managed effectively.  I don’t know much about mental health, and I certainly am no expert on anxiety, but have to think that I certainly am not alone.  I’m probably one of those fifty-some percent of people who report mild or low levels of anxiety from time to time.  That knowledge does little, however, to make things better.

I’ve lived with this phenomenon for years, and have never seen the need for help or treatment.  It’s just part of me anymore, and I’m guessing many of you as well.  I wonder if this is one reason why

There are dozens of verses in the Bible about worry and anxiety.  It was difficult for me to choose just one to share with you.  I really like Philippians 4:6 where Paul says, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.”

I like the idea of “with thanksgiving,” that he mentions here.  Pray, ask God for relief, and be thankful for what He has given and will give.  Doing that changes the whole thing, at least for me.  When I begin to thank God for His gracious provision, and ask for relief, the cloud seems to lift and I can go on with life and living.

If you tend to worry or even if it crosses over into anxiety, you may well be able to manage it on your own with God’s direct help.  Or, it may be such that you may need appropriate treatment.  That treatment, too, is one of God’s gracious gifts.  Don’t think otherwise.  God often works through what we might see as the ordinary and the everyday.  Professionals who can help us cope with anxiety are provisions of God for our benefit.

Thanks for listening.  May your day be one of blessing.

Forming Opinions

 

Ryan Baty is a Sedgwick County Commissioner.  He is also a businessman, the owner of the Mattress Hub businesses in the area.  He is a minister, although not now active in that role in the traditional sense.  He’s a family man and former baseball player, having played for a season in the minor leagues in 2004.  Ryan serves now as the commission chair, a responsibility that is passed on to others following a one-year stint.

I don’t know Ryan as a close friend.  I’ve had lunch with him, after being introduced to him by others.  And I correspond with him somewhat regularly on matters pertaining to local government.  Ryan always responds, and does so with grace and good knowledge of the subject.

He has begun a video series, which he has on his web site as well as on YouTube.  In this series, he interviews various people in an extended, conversational fashion.  Former Commissioner Lacey Cruise and current Mayor Lilly Wu have been his guests, along with Ben Davis, Ryan’s campaign manager.  These interviews are interesting, informative, and give me a new perspective on people who I don’t know personally, but who I know about through the media.

They’ve also gotten me to consider just how I form opinions of others.  What information do I use to help me form my opinion?  Where do I get that information?  How accurate is the information I receive?  Are there other ways I can get information about someone as I come to some kind of conclusion regarding an individual?

I can tell you that my opinions of those Ryan has interviewed who are in public life…Lacey Cruise and Lilly Wu…have changed after seeing the interviews they did with him.  And my take on Ryan has changed some as well, but not as much as with Cruise or Wu.  I’ll explain.

The only information I’ve received about Lilly Wu and Lacey Cruise up until this time have been media sources.  I’ve only recently become a friend of Lacey on Facebook, and have not had any personal interaction with Lilly.  Media reporting locally tries to be unbiased, but as you know, there is no such thing as unbiased media reporting, whether local or national.  Additionally, the media prefer fifteen second sound-bites instead of extensive, several minute responses.

However, with hour-long interviews done in a conversational format, new information comes out.  People have time to flesh out their thoughts.  There can be a much deeper dive into the topics discussed.  Emotions and, if I can say it this way, an opening into the soul of the person become accessible.  These kinds of conversations tend to open up a whole other way of seeing the person in the interview.

With Ryan, I’ve been able to make an assessment from several fronts.  Our conversation over lunch.  His conversation with me via email as we discuss the business of the county.  These interviews.  The local media.  His posts on social media.  All of these tend to give me a much better and more well-balanced view of Ryan than any single source could.  I can’t say that I know Ryan well.  But I think I have a much better perspective on his makeup than I ever could have had if I had used but one source for my information.

This principle works the same way with anyone we might meet or know of.  I need to get several perspectives of a person before setting in stone my opinion of that person.  And if it’s not possible to obtain several viewpoints of a person, I need to understand that my opinion of that person may well be flawed, and I need to be open to readily and willingly change my thoughts about that person if and when I get additional information.

Think about it.  How often do we form some kind of opinion about someone just based on a brief encounter of some kind or some second-hand information?  And how often do we let that opinion become cemented in our minds, regardless of how accurate it really is?  How many times have we formed that kind of an opinion of another, only to find out later on that what we’ve been thinking about that person is totally wrong, based on additional information we receive from trusted sources?

This principle is even true in the church family.  Often, we see people in our church family only on Sunday mornings.  This is the time when folks are usually on their best behavior.  They’re dressed up, at least some from what their normal mode of dress may be.  It’s a time when we see people at their best.

This is one reason for what we call fellowship.  We see others in circumstances and situations that are different from church.  Having a meal with them, traveling with them, seeing them in their home, having them in our homes, visiting them if they are in the hospital, going to their kids’ school and other events…these kinds of interactions give one a much better idea of what someone else is really like than the one-sided viewpoint at church on Sunday morning.

I encourage you to refrain from forming permanent opinions of others unless and until you’ve had several ways to interact with and get to know someone.  I think you’ll find that first opinions based on limited knowledge are often mistaken ones.

May God continue his blessings as we navigate the future together.

Courtesy

 Good afternoon, and welcome.

 I know that many of the people I encounter in public are probably basically good people, I have to sometimes wonder if manners and deference are taught anymore by parents or others.  Or perhaps is it just a general lack of awareness on the part of individuals who seem to be going through life with blinders on.  Let me give you a couple of quick examples, both of which involve traffic courtesy.

 I was traveling down a residential street today where cars were parked on both sides of the street.  The street width was so narrow that only one lane was available for the through traffic.  As I was in this narrow area, another car turned onto the street from a block or so ahead.  They didn’t have a lot of room where they could pull over and let me pass, but I had a fairly open area on my side.  I pulled over into that open area and, since my driver’s window was open because of the nicer weather, I motioned to the other driver to come on through.-As she passed by me, she looked straight ahead and didn’t acknowledge me or my gesture of pulling over to let her pass.  It was as if I wasn’t there.

 A little later in the day, I needed to make a left turn into the church parking lot.  I was traveling northbound on Waco, and the traffic on the other side of the street was fairly heavy.  I pulled into the turn lane, which at that point had just become a left-turn lane for the southbound traffic, and turned on my left turn signal.  Because of the heavier traffic, I had to stop and wait for it to pass.

 It happened that the traffic light at the intersection turned red, and the southbound traffic began to back up.  One, then two, then three…it wasn’t long before a woman stopped in the southbound lane in front of me, blocking my path to turn into the parking lot.  About that time, another southbound car wanted to get into the left turn lane, but couldn’t because I was blocking it…and in turn was blocked by the woman in the lane who had stopped in front of me.

 When traffic finally started to move, she gave no sign that she even noticed that I was there, waiting to turn.  She could easily have stopped ten or twelve feet farther back and allowed me the space to pull into the lot, but that didn’t happen.

 Now, I don’t tell you these things for you to think I’m such a wonderful and respectful driver.  I have my moments just like everyone else.  Nor was I expecting great kudos from the woman I allowed down the single lane, nor do I expect great apologies from the woman blocking the lane so I couldn’t turn.  But it’s always a courtesy to acknowledge the good deed of another driver by a short wave or at least a smile and nod.  However, that did not happen with either of these two drivers.

 I suppose it could have been that the two drivers were otherwise occupied with some major thing in their life, or perhaps were somewhat frightened to make eye contact with a strange man in another vehicle on the streets of Wichita.  I get it, I think.  But it would have been a welcome gesture to somehow acknowledge my presence, and, I think, just the courteous thing to do.

 Those two examples remind me of times when I’ve flashed my headlights (yes, your vehicle has a headlight flasher built in to the turn signal…that’s the thing you may not use very often…check it out) at a vehicle trying to merge into the lane just ahead of me.  I flash my lights to let them know they are welcome to move in front of me and merge…that I’ll wait for them instead of rushing ahead to fill the space they wanted to move into.

 Most people understand what flashing headlights mean when they’re trying to merge and they see that in their mirrors, but very few acknowledge the courtesy by gently tapping the brake once or twice to flash their tail lights.  Again, I don’t expect any great thank you, but it seems to me that a courtesy extended generally ought to be a courtesy acknowledged.

 The roadways are far too dangerous.  Tempers sometimes flare.  Frustration often mounts.  Sometimes, I think the demonstration of courtesy and the accompanying acknowledgement of that courtesy could go far in tamping down the frustrations and anger on the roads.  Think about it.  Find ways to acknowledge courtesies, whether on the road, in a work setting, at a retail store, or even at home.  You might be surprised at the good that will come of it.

 Blessings,

The Poor You Will Always Have With You

 “The poor you will always have with you…”  Those are the words of Jesus of Nazareth toward the end of his ministry.  Although the context of the statement was made in connection with the anointing of his feet with expensive oils by a woman shortly before his crucifixion, and the consequent complaint by one of his disciples that the oil might have instead been sold and the proceeds given to the poor…it nevertheless is a statement worthy of consideration.

 By this statement, Jesus obviously did not mean that the poor were unimportant or of no consequence.  In fact, some of the most direct and meaningful teaching of both Jesus and other writers of Scripture, both Old and New Testaments, is in regard to providing help for those who could not otherwise help themselves.  The commands and the examples are plain enough.  It doesn’t take a theologian to decipher the meaning of these words from John’s letter, “But if anyone has the world's goods and sees his brother in need, yet closes his heart against him, how does God's love abide in him?”  Or perhaps this passage from the book of Hebrews:  “Do not neglect to do good and to share what you have, for such sacrifices are pleasing to God.”  Or what about this one from the Proverbs?  “Whoever closes his ear to the cry of the poor will himself call out and not be answered.”

 There are dozens of places in both testaments that speak of the poor and our obligation to them.  There is no way that I am aware of in Scripture that allows us to dismiss the poor and refuse to help when we can and are able.  The question, however, always seems to be to what extent do we share what we have and how much we help those who have not.  For that I have no answer for you.  I can only answer for myself.

 I believe God does not expect me to place myself into poverty by helping others escape it.  I believe God does not expect me to fix the world.  And I do not believe that God wants me to enable bad behavior rather I think He expects me to be wise in providing needed help.

 With those things in mind, the questions of whether or not to help, when to help, how much to help, and when to cease helping become variable…as variable as the specific situation that presents itself.  Each one of those questions and each one of the situations that present are unique.  No one can, or should, second guess the efforts or lack of effort on the part of someone to help the poor.  Each person stands or falls before God…not other people.

 Scripture does tell us to be generous with what God has given us.  “Give generously to the poor, and do so without a grudging heart,” the Good Book says.  I fear that even though we may give, we often do so with less than a generous heart…and more so with a mindset that we have somehow met an obligation and that God should be happy with what we’ve done…as if we can somehow earn God’s favor by throwing some morsels toward the poor.

 Giving is as much an attitude and attribute of the heart and soul as it is the physical act of parting with some of one’s possessions for the benefit of someone who has none.  A generous and giving attitude will manifest itself well-enough in the physical act of giving.  A stingy attitude will manifest itself as well…in a dismissal of need, in a superior, haughty attitude, and in a smug sense of security and self-satisfaction at having provided for one’s own needs.  Such an attitude forgets that all one has ultimately comes from God, and that none of us are truly deserving of any of it…that all is given simply because of God’s grace and generous nature.  We all are at the mercy of a loving and generous God.

 “The poor you will always have with you.”  Yes, indeed we WILL always have the poor with us.  And because that is true, we always will have the need to help as we can and are able.  And we are to do so with a generous as well as a thankful heart…generous in giving…thankful that God has blessed us with the means to give.

 Blessings,