Some Days...

 Some days it just hits.  I think many of us know the feeling.  There are days and times within our days when we just don’t want to do anything.  Nothing.  Those times hit me just like they probably hit many of you.

Today, for example, I had a few things to do on my calendar.  Pick up some food for the food pantry.  Lunch with staff.  A dental hygiene visit this afternoon.  Nothing extraordinary for me.  But for some reason unknown to me, about mid-morning today as I was sitting by myself, something washed over me that caused me to deeply groan, move my hands through my hair, and wish I could just go home and sleep the day away in a dark, quiet room.  They call that anxiety, I think.  One definition goes like this:  A state of apprehension, uncertainty, and fear resulting from the anticipation of a realistic or fantasized threatening event or situation, often impairing physical and psychological functioning.

I’m not sure what I was anticipating today.  Nor do I suspect that it was anything realistic…whatever it was.  But at that particular time, I was basically frozen, unable to think of much of anything except wanting to just go away for the day into a cocoon.  Thankfully, it only lasted a couple of minutes, and I snapped out of it and continued on with my day.

Once I began to think more clearly and process, I thought that some of my apprehension might be coming from my work as an Elder of our church.  There are some heavy things going on with some of our members right now.  As Elders, one of our responsibilities is to help shepherd those folks through their difficulties as best we can.  Inevitably, we begin to feel the weight of what is on their shoulders as we work with them.  I presume that’s part of what Jesus meant when he told us to help “bear one-another’s burdens.”

Second, my calendar is usually pretty much open.  But today for some reason, it’s rather full.  As I thought about what is on the schedule, I began to anticipate any problems or issues that could come today, rather than the opportunities I had to help and serve.  I think that contributed to some of my apprehension and anxiety.

Third, I think older age may play a part.  I’m not as vigorous as I once was.  I hurt more.  I’m more careful when walking or doing anything of a physical nature, acutely aware of my limitations.  Some of what I had to do today was rather physical in nature.  My mind still thinks I can do some of these things, but my body tells me differently.  That can be somewhat depressing and lead to some kind of avoidance of the whole situation.

I have had these brief encounters with anxiety rather regularly for many years.  Sometimes, they come minutes before we set out on a long road trip.  I think about all the things that can go wrong, and whether or not I have planned appropriately.  Then, when I actually get up and go to the car, it all goes away and I once again look forward to the trip.

Other times, they will come maybe the night before when I know I’ll have a really busy day the next day.  I wonder how we’ll get through the day, but when that day actually comes and goes, I wonder what I was worried about.

And sometimes, it will just come for no apparent reason.  I’ll just have this “cloud” of sorts fall over me with an accompanying sense of dread and gloom.  Again, it doesn’t last but a minute or two and I sort of snap out of it and go on with life and living.

Based on some quick Internet research, it seems that over half of the population in the USmay have, at some time or another, low levels of anxiety.  Levels that need no treatment, or very little treatment, and can be managed effectively.  I don’t know much about mental health, and I certainly am no expert on anxiety, but have to think that I certainly am not alone.  I’m probably one of those fifty-some percent of people who report mild or low levels of anxiety from time to time.  That knowledge does little, however, to make things better.

I’ve lived with this phenomenon for years, and have never seen the need for help or treatment.  It’s just part of me anymore, and I’m guessing many of you as well.  I wonder if this is one reason why

There are dozens of verses in the Bible about worry and anxiety.  It was difficult for me to choose just one to share with you.  I really like Philippians 4:6 where Paul says, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.”

I like the idea of “with thanksgiving,” that he mentions here.  Pray, ask God for relief, and be thankful for what He has given and will give.  Doing that changes the whole thing, at least for me.  When I begin to thank God for His gracious provision, and ask for relief, the cloud seems to lift and I can go on with life and living.

If you tend to worry or even if it crosses over into anxiety, you may well be able to manage it on your own with God’s direct help.  Or, it may be such that you may need appropriate treatment.  That treatment, too, is one of God’s gracious gifts.  Don’t think otherwise.  God often works through what we might see as the ordinary and the everyday.  Professionals who can help us cope with anxiety are provisions of God for our benefit.

Thanks for listening.  May your day be one of blessing.