So Overwhelming

 Good afternoon.

 Part of what I do with my work at RiverWalk is benevolence.  And part of that specific work is sometimes putting gas into the vehicle tank of someone who is in need.  I actually put the gas in for them; I don’t just give them cash or a gift card.  I’ll meet them at the gas station…usually a QuikTrip or maybe a Dillons…visit with them, and pump their gas for them.

I usually meet them at one of the downtown QuikTrips…Seneca & West Douglas, Kellogg and South Broadway, or maybe East Douglas and Washington.  I’ll usually get there before our client, and will park in one of the stalls that is NOT at a gas pump.  I’ll wait for the client to come in, then meet up with them and get them what they need.

Sometimes I arrive several minutes before the client, and usually take that time to just watch the goings-on at the QuikTrip.  It’s always busy there.  People are constantly driving in and out, going in and out the building, and generally creating movement.  Sometimes there will be a homeless person or two around outside, or maybe a QuikTrip employee will be outside emptying trash or doing some other kind of cleanup.

Sometimes I see a particular person and wonder what their day is like.  I wonder what kind of life they’ve been living the past years.  I wonder what the future may hold for them.  I wonder if they’re feeling positive today or are down.  I wonder just how healthy they are and if they have access to the care they may need.  Yes, I know these are questions with few answers…and that even the person himself or herself would not know how to answer some of those types of questions.

And then I visit with the one we’re helping with fuel.  Sometimes they don’t tell me much.  But sometimes they sort of pour it all out right there at the gas pump.

Like today, we pumped gas for a woman who seemed to be somewhat down.  I gently probed, and found out that her landlord has asked her to move from her section 8 house because he needs to do a complete renovation, and doesn’t have another place for her to go.

She knows finding a section 8 house is difficult at best, and the cost of private housing is even higher.  There’s the expense of moving, first and last month rent and deposit, getting the kids into a new school, the utilities, and all the other that comes with this kind of situation.

Her comment to me was, “It is just so overwhelming at times.”

Earlier today we helped a social worker with some food for someone she was working with.  The client was physically impaired, not even able to walk out to her mail box, let alone go to the grocery store or other chores we take for granted.  She got meals on wheels once a day and had been living on that.

The client needed some kind of mattress, because she was sleeping on a futon which was on a sheet of plywood.

The social worker volunteered that the client was raped awhile back and couldn’t bear to sleep on the same mattress that she was raped on.  She had tossed the mattress away and was making do with a futon.  She filed a police report, but was not told, she says, about support services that might be available to victims of sexual assault.  The police are supposed to provide that information, and may have tried, but in the emotions of the moment she may not have understood what they were trying to do for her.  However, there should have been some follow-up, but that evidently didn’t happen.

The social worker is working with her to obtain some of those needed services.  In the course of my conversation with her, the social worker told me, “It’s all so overwhelming.”  She was speaking about the load that she herself was carrying in trying to make a small positive dent in the lives of those who come to her for services who are so broken in so many places and ways.

It’s Thursday afternoon.  Each Thursday afternoon, I mentally feel like I’ve just run a marathon this week.  I don’t work Fridays, so have a three-day weekend to recover.  But even then I usually have responsibilities on Sundays at the church.  I too sometimes feel like it’s all so overwhelming.  The weekend, though, is welcome, and I usually spend a lot of it on the back patio…at the edge of the park…and just be for awhile.

I wrote on Facebook recently about a conversation I had with a friend who spoke of “finishing strong,” regarding our lives and how we as older folks choose to use the time remaining that God has given us.  I want to finish strong.  I don’t want to lay around the house doing nothing…and I think Pat wouldn’t want me there in any event.

The idea of finishing strong has become one that is at the forefront of my mind, and probably will be for a considerably long time.  It’s what I want to do should God give me the grace and mercy to do that.

The QuikTrip parking lot and gas pumps are, I think, a decent sampling of life for many.  Some time when you have some time, stop by one, park where you can see the action, and just observe for a few minutes.  Who knows?  It may open up a whole new understanding of our society and give you a much better shot at knowing and understanding how many people live their day.  It isn’t all unicorns and rainbows.  In fact, I have yet to see a unicorn at a QuikTrip.  But it is life…life in the here and now…life for many just trying to get through the day relatively intact.

 

 

Blessings…