Let Someone Know You Care

 Sometimes, in the course of living in Wichita and my work as a minister, I have occasion to hear, primarily through social media, of someone from my past who has been hospitalized in one of the Wichita hospitals.  It could be a classmate.  It could be someone who was in school the same time as I was, but a different grade.

When I hear of someone in the hospital that I know, I don't always make the trip to see them.  Sometimes, I hear about their hospitalization too late to go, as they've already been dismissed.  Sometimes, the relationship I had with that person was not one conducive to allow such a visit.  Sometimes, we barely knew each other, and it just didn't seem to be the thing to do to go for a visit.  But sometimes everything seems right, and I go for a short visit just to let them know that I know and care.

The visits are indeed often short.  Our lives long ago went in separate directions.  I have only attended a couple of our class or all-school reunions over the past almost 60 years.  I didn't have that many good friends in high school.  I wasn't a social butterfly.  And several of those friends I did have are no longer with us.  The last of the two or so reunions I attended was in 2017...our 50^th.  I don't plan on ever attending another reunion.

Sometimes I'll meet that person's family who may be there.  These would be people I don't know at all.  Those family members and I usually have a good conversation about what's going on with my friend...at least enough that I have some idea of the situation at hand.  They seem willing and at times even eager to talk about the situation.  So, sometimes I just do a lot of listening.

And, it seems that these incidents are becoming somewhat more frequent.  Of course, that would be expected, since most of us are well into our 70's, with the accompanying aches, pains, and illnesses that often attack.  I count it a privilege, though, to be able to make the visit and if even just briefly, for a moment re-establish the relationship.  And hopefully, my visit does something in a small way to provide some kind of relief and comfort.

There is one thing, though, that always seems to befuddle me when I encounter these situations.  I'm usually always calling up out of the dark recesses of my head memories of long ago.  Many times, those memories are videos complete with sound.  They are usually just snippets a few seconds long, but they're there as surely as I'm here.

I have to marvel at what I am experiencing.  How is it that somewhere in that gray mass of cells called the brain, these videos or still images are stored...kept...and recalled...sometimes 60 or more years after the event happened?  What kind of retrieval system does the brain have for these thoughts?  How does that work?  Why are some things stored permanently and others are soon forgotten?  Is my whole life somehow stashed away in there, but I can only recall certain aspects of it?  How are the physical brain cells changed when a thought...an image...a sound...is stored away?  Is there a limit to the information the brain can hold?  If so, what does it do when it reaches that limit?

I know that the people who study the brain may have some answers...or think they may have some answers to these questions.  But even so, what happens in that mass of cells in my head remains a mystery in so many ways.  I have to wonder just how it is that someone can reasonably conclude that such a marvelous piece of biology could have been put into existence by chance and happenstance.  I won't go into that in detail in this post...I'll leave that for another time, because the primary point in this thought is this:  If you hear of someone you know who is having some kind of health issue that necessitates that person being hospitalized, and if you think it might be good to make a short visit, by all means do so.  I know hospitals are places where a lot of people don't want to go, even when they're well.  I know it sometimes hurts to see someone else in discomfort or ill health.  I know it may take some time out of your day...you'll have to park in a far-away spot and navigate your way to the right room on the right floor.  And it might be difficult to find the words when you do see that person or that person's family.

But, put aside your own uncomfortable-ness and think of the one who is hospitalized.  Think about whether you would like someone to visit you should you be the one in that hospital bed.  Make that visit...even if for only five minutes.  You have no idea just how important it may be to your friend and his or her family for you to say that you care.