Time for Ice Cream

This past six weeks to two months has been a virtual roller coaster of emotion and experience for me. You might have guessed that something was amiss because I haven’t blogged regularly in a couple of weeks, and I too wondered why I didn’t feel much like sitting down and putting pen to paper (to use a quaint phrase).

We finally were able to purchase a home for ourselves that, while more than we need, will be a good vehicle to jump start our retirement income (we believe). We’ve been less than diligent to work with our retirement in any kind of systematic way, and this might just be the thing to get us off of center and on with some prudent planning.

We also were able to move into that home, and out of my brother’s place. I am so appreciative of his and Deanna’s hospitality I can’t say it with words, but I’m sure they are as happy as we are that we were able to move to our own place. Their daughters surely are pleased as well, since they now each have a room for the summer and don’t have to crash on couches, the floor, or some other place in the house.

We’re both settling into our jobs, which seem to be morphing before our eyes. Nothing bad, but just changes. And there are the inevitable ups and downs that come with being a part of starting up a new business along with some inefficiencies that just need to be worked out and through. Being an impatient person, I am not good at going with the flow, but am learning.

Our family is growing as well. Our grandchildren keep on growing, and our children and in-laws change jobs, move, and do the other things that young couples do. It’s a challenge, sometimes, to keep up with them.

I continue to see our old home place every couple of weeks as I mow the yard there. I also continue to be torn as to what to do with it. Some days, I’d sell it for ten dollars if I could afford to do that. Other days, I want to fix it up and use it as a weekend home. A lot of memories are stirred each time I go there and I’m not sure what to do with them (and with it).

We are working through discipleship at church and the idea of being salt, light, and leaven in a broken and dying world. I’ve been through lessons like this before, but this time, something is sticking and I have been thinking…a lot…about that subject. I’m certain that some of this has to do with the aging process; some with mental and emotional maturity; some with what we’ve been through the last year or two, and some just because.

The wife and I continue to work with our relationship with each other. I continue to be puzzled at times by it, sometimes frustrated, and at other times, I’m grateful that we have the ability to have relationships such as this. I’m never, ever sorry. And I suppose that’s good.

Those are some of the things in a nutshell that have been passing through my brain cells recently. Now, I think it’s time to go get some ice cream out of the freezer.

Some Folks Have Giants in Their Lives

Over the past week or so I’ve had the opportunity to ferry some of our residents to treatment in one of the cancer radiation centers we have here in Wichita. I take them to their appointments, then wait in the waiting area until they’re finished, which usually isn’t long.

If you have a chance, you should go to one of those waiting areas and just observe for awhile. You see everyone there. Young, old, male, female. Disabled, able-bodied, happy, sad. They’re all there, and they’re all there for one reason; they have cancer.

Some have that pallid look that comes with the more advanced forms, and/or I suspect, liver cancer. Others have do-rags or are disfigured in some way, possibly due to surgeries.

I am surprised, however, at the number who at least seem on the outside as if it’s not the end of the world, but rather it’s (their cancer) just something they have to do. There is joking and laughter, conversation among patients and families, and banter with the staff. Things seem so normal, but it’s so obvious that things are not at all “normal”.

I had the audacity one day to look at a middle-aged man coming out of the center and silently wondering what he was doing in there to begin with. He walked healthily, looked normal, and seemed to be just fine. I said “thank you” when he held the door for my resident and me, and he said something in return. However, I couldn’t understand him because he whispered it…he had no larynx. That probably was a result of throat cancer and he was being treated for it. I felt like a heel in the next few minutes.

I don’t know if you’ve fought cancer or not. If you have, you’re a hero in my books regardless of how it turns out. If you haven’t, thank God for your health and walk a little more circumspectly and reverently in the days ahead, knowing that others are facing giants daily; the likes of which you’ve never seen before.

Survivors All

It’s been awhile since I’ve blogged, but there’s been a lot happening. Work just seems to never end. One would think that with a new building and not many residents (compared to the full number of beds available) that there wouldn’t be much to do maintenance/housekeeping-wise. But that’s not the case as I’ve already put in a full week of work (over 38 hours) and it’s not Friday yet.

I’ve had the privilege of taking some of our residents to radiation therapy at one of the larger hospitals in the area. I take them in our nursing home van and wait for them as they are getting their therapy. It usually doesn’t take very long.

I have been looking around at those others who are waiting for their treatments. There are a lot of hats, do-rags, and bald heads in the waiting room. Some can walk around on their own; others require assistance of a greater or lesser amount. They are young and old, male and female. They have one common denominator…they have cancer.

As I look around and observe them interact with others who are undergoing treatment, or with those who brought them to the center, or with the staff, I am reminded of some things. These people who are receiving treatment will have success in some instances. In others, the cancer will return or will never go away. Regardless, this is a life-changing event and forever alters the way one thinks, lives, and relates to both himself and his surroundings.

These folks probably have (or had) jobs, family, dreams, homes, plans, and aspirations. For all of them, the cancer that has invaded their bodies has changed their priorities and has caused things to be in an “upset the applecart” kind of way. There’s no choice on whether or not to have cancer. We can only know the statistical evidence for or against the disease based on our environment, lifestyle, and choices, and change what we do in order to lessen (but not eliminate) the chances.

I marvel at the resiliency of the human race and the overwhelming desire to survive. And I see great evidence of that not only in the faces of those cancer survivors, but also in the faces and lives of our staff, residents, and their families. We were created in a wondrous, marvelous way and we are of all the creation most blessed.

How Often??

Last Sunday I went to church with two different styles of shoes on my feet. I don’t know if this is a sure sign of dementia, old age, or just inattention, but when I looked down at my feet between church services and Sunday School class, there they were…a left of one shoe and a right of another style of shoe.

At least they were both black. And I knew that I would be spending the remainder of my time there with my feet under a table, so that wasn’t really an issue. I don’t think anyone noticed and I didn’t have to get in front of anyone or do anything publicly.

I can just imagine, though, being tapped at the last minute to fill in on the ushering detail or some other such thing. It’s good that there are a lot of people to choose from in this church and that really doesn’t happen to me here. But still….

Has anything happened to you lately that is in the same or a similar category to this? How often do we go off half-cocked into the public arena, and how often do we never know that we do?

“And a good time was had by all.” So goes a cliché line that has ended many a story about some gathering of people. However, the line truly fits the gathering of friends and family of our nephew Dan as he prepares to leave Wichita for Wisconson parts unknown (at least to us).

Capping off several days of activity on the part of my sis and her immediate family, we attended a recital at their church yesterday. Nephew Dan was the featured performer, and sis Marianne and Dan’s sis Rebekah helped out. They truly are a talented bunch, and we are pleased and proud to have association with them as family members.

We then “broke in” our new home with a gathering of whoever could come. We had hot dogs, hamburgers, homemade ice cream, and all the stuff that goes with that. Our new home has a fire pit out back and two patios, which were put to good use. Even in the Kansas wind, we had a good time and were pleased to be able to host such a gathering as this.

Using the Plank Memorial Weenie Sticks, we roasted hot dogs and toasted marshmallows. We visited, ate, drank, and visited some more. A couple of the guys ended up flat down on the floor in the basement trying to absorb what they had eaten, and we even had a visit from a fireman from the Wichita Fire Department asking about the fire in the back yard (he was also a guest, so it was OK).

Yes, a good time was had by all. These kinds of things don’t come often, and are to be savored when they do happen. We wish Dan the best in his endeavors.

How's It Working For You?

When we watch old TV shows like Leave It To Beaver or the Andy Griffith show, we tend to make fun of the parent/child relationships portrayed in those shows as irrelevant to today’s world, and “pie in the sky.” We say that those relationships as portrayed aren’t realistic in the world today, and we’re better off to see shows that have “real” relationships, complete with divorce, drug abuse, sexual experimentation and the like.

Having just watched an episode of “Beaver”, I am going to vigorously disagree that the marriage and family relationships portrayed are not realistic. Yes, June is always wearing a dress and necklace. Ward always has a tie on. Wally and the Beaver always get along. I know that isn’t necessarily how things are in real life. But those things are the fluff. I’m talking about the relationships.

I didn’t crawl out from under the rock yesterday. We all go through tough times in our marriages and in our family relationships. Sometimes there is no quick fix. Sometimes there is no fix at all…we just endure. We don’t always have the world’s problems solved in a 30 minute segment. Parents become ill or disabled. Children die unexpectedly. Financial reversals aren’t uncommon anymore.

But the core values of the relationships that we see in those old TV shows, far from being fodder for laughter and derision, should be values we strive for, labor for, and press our entire beings into bringing into our relationships with others, and maintaining them, growing them, and using them as we go through life.

What’s laughable about honesty? Why would anyone make fun of integrity? What is cornball about doing for others? What is it about devotion to others that makes it anathema? And since when did generosity, truth, and humility become things embraced only by losers?

Come on, someone. Answer me if you dare. Tell me that these things are truly worthless and good only as fodder for humor and crude jokes. Tell me that these things aren’t the values we should have…that greed, selfishness, dishonesty, deception, and pride are better. Tell me how society benefits from these rather than the “old school” values of honesty, truth, and humility.

Then tell me how you’ve done lately and how it’s working out for you to embrace the new value system. Tell me how it will work for you when you’re old, alone, and chronically ill in a nursing home. Suddenly, the Ozzie and Harriet show doesn’t look bad at all.

Something New

I’ve seen wild turkey a lot of times. Many years ago, now, the State of Kansas re-introduced turkey to many areas and they have since flourished. I’m not a hunter, so my experience with turkey has been to see a flock at the side of a road or once in a great while in a tree. And while I’ve seen many, today I experienced something I have never, I think, experienced before.
This morning a tom was strutting his stuff out back of the house when I pulled the shades. His hen was feeding at the feeder a neighbor has out and the tom was ever watchful and letting everyone know that he was there. Now, I’ve seen that before. What I’ve not done is hear a tom gobble. I did this morning.
He was a young bird, if my Internet information was correct. His tail feathers had one or two missing from them, so he didn’t have a perfect fan tail. His beard wasn’t that long, but he was truly a beautiful sight and sound.
I looked around for additional hens, but didn’t see any. Evidently, this is a one-woman tom. But that’s OK because they put on quite a show for us this morning. We have to observe them quietly, mostly from inside because they are wild enough to spook if we go out on the back patio. I did however, manage to get the back door slid open so I could hear the gobble several times before they went into the woods.
Although I have yet to see some of the other critters one might expect to see…raccoon, opossum, skunk, and the occasional fox, I’m sure they’re there. The habitat is just too good and the cover is just to plentiful for those animals to not be present in the wooded area of that park. I’m a little at a loss to explain the relative dearth of various species of birds there, especially compared to the number of birds I saw in Topeka along the Shunga Creek. However, maybe they will come a little later on in the year.
But for now, I will just enjoy the turkey, deer, cardinals, ducks, robins, and others as spring awakens the earth in Wichita, Kansas.

Ringing, Ringing

Normally, it isn’t fun to be awake in the middle of the night. Even though it’s a normal occurrence for me anymore to be up a couple of times or more, I always hope I can fall asleep quickly. Otherwise I am apt to lay there for an hour or more, wondering when I will go back to slumber land.

I normally have a ringing in my ears that is there constantly. Sometimes it is worse than at other times, and most of the time I don’t think about it, but it’s always there. I think that it is exacerbated by external noise, because sometimes when I’m laying there awake, I notice that the ringing is very unobtrusive or isn’t even there to a detectable level.

I am always pleased when those times happen, because it gives a welcome respite to the constant droning of a high-pitched tone which otherwise inhabits my consciousness. I lay there and think about what it might be like to go through life with no more ear ringing and being able to hear even the slightest sounds. Then the practical side of me takes over and I know that when I get up in the morning, the ringing will gradually come back and be a constant companion throughout the day.

Sometimes, when the ringing is very quiet or not there, I also think about a time yet to come when I will be fully conscious, fully alive, yet there will be no ringing of my ears. There will also be no astigmatism in my eyes or sinus trouble. My occasional headaches will have vanished forever and I won’t have to wear the “Breathe Right” strips at night. I can’t really imagine what that will be like just now, but I’m really beginning to long for that to happen. “Even so, come quickly.”