Friday, February 26, 2010

Always a Possibility

Today was just a lost day, it seems, for me. I was just wasted today and didn’t feel at all well. No bugs or illness…I think it was a mild exhaustion that overtook me today. Not sure why because I seem to sleep well, and long enough. I got home a little early today and promptly took a 45 minute nap, which helped immensely. I wish I could have done that about 10am this morning.
You know the kind of day. You have to work extremely hard, it seems, to put one foot in front of the other. Your brain isn’t working as well as it should. And you’re just not really into anything you do. Caffeine doesn’t help a lot. You can’t wait to be done.
And that is kind of sad because this was the prettiest day outside. One of the best. Tomorrow promises to be as good, however, so I am looking forward to that. We’ve had lots of winter, but not nearly like they’ve had in the Northeast.
Every Friday I look back over the week and think about what happened. I compare it with what I thought (or hoped) would happen five days before. It never seems to be anything close to what I thought it would be, even when I know some of what I have to do that week. I don’t know why I do this…maybe it’s one of those things that everyone does, but they just don’t talk much about it.
This weekend will be somewhat busy for us, but enjoyable. Unless, that is, things happen that disrupt our plans and routine. And that’s always a possibility.

Thursday, February 25, 2010

This and That

I don’t know why some days just seem to take it out of me more than others. Yesterday and today were both like that. I don’t know if it was the amount of things I had to do, what those things were, or my physical or mental condition…maybe a combination of all of the above. In any event, I’m glad this day is almost over, and can pretty much guarantee you that I will be in bed by 10pm or shortly after.
In other thoughts, aren’t the Olympics something! I’ve watched them for many years now, and always enjoy most of the sports that are presented. Some, of course, I enjoy more than others. Do real men really watch figure skating? Yes, they do, and many of them enjoy it.
As time continues to march on, I am more and more convinced that what is here…what is in this life…this existence…doesn’t really matter all that much. It didn’t used to be this way, but now there is an overriding truth in all of my thinking that tells me to temper any decisions regarding the here and now with the reality of the eternity of which we partake as certainly as we exist.
I’ve agreed to teach an adult class this spring on the book of Exodus. I’ll have twelve Sundays to go through all of those chapters and help my class make sense of what is there. It certainly is a different way of teaching than I’m used to. I like to take things more slowly, but really, Exodus isn’t written in that way in very many places. So the survey approach probably will work better anyway.
There were about half a dozen crows in the peak of the bare cottonwood out back this morning. That tree is the tallest one around and the crows were at its peak, looking around, cawing some, and flying off a short way and back again. I came in and told my wife about it. She thought maybe they were discussing where to have breakfast. I dunno. Even though they are “just birds”, I like crows. I’ve heard, and have also thought, that they are probably one of the more intelligent animals we have around. You can read some of the work that has been done on that topic by Googling crow intelligence. Some of that is a rather interesting read.
It’s time to get back to the Olympics.

Saturday, February 20, 2010

You Get What You Get

It’s been another cloudy, dreary day here with freezing rain and sleet falling sporadically. It seems to be melting when it hits the ground, so things aren’t slick. The official temp is 34 degrees, but probably will fall tonight.
We were out doing some errands this morning and had to drive to several locations. Most of the time, the drivers were pretty good, but we ran into (figuratively, of course) one or two that I kind of had to scratch my head (figuratively, of course) and wonder what in the world they were trying to do. One woman, it seemed, was making a “U” turn on East Douglas in the middle of traffic, holding up the works in several directions. One person (gender is known, but will not be given for fear of my being accused of being biased) sped up and passed me in the rain on I 235 only to get behind a truck after passing, slowing down, and making me go around her so I didn’t have to slow down. I wasn’t sure what she was up to, nor was I sure I wanted to know.
And so it goes, to borrow a phrase from Linda Ellerbee. All in all, our foray into the retail and public areas of Wichita went well, including our visit to Sam’s Club to buy a few things and cash our rebate check.
So it’s been a slow day, which probably is a good thing for us. We’re watching the Olympics, the KU basketball game, doing laundry, and otherwise just vegging around. I went out to the garage awhile ago, but didn’t stay even though there were things I needed to do, because it was cold enough there that it wouldn’t have been a very pleasant time. One of these days, I have to get out there and do some of the accumulating chores.
We’ll host our small group tomorrow evening, and of course we meet for church in the morning. The wife is on administrative nursing call this weekend, but hasn’t had much in the way of issues just yet. Let’s hope that dearth of problems continues through the weekend.
That’s it. Not much from here. I don’t feel like stretching my brain today to ponder the meaning of life or the origin of the species. You get what you get.

Sunday, February 14, 2010

Another Day

Today is Valentine’s Day. According to Wiki, the day is named for at least two Christian martyrs of early Christian times. The day was authorized by a Catholic pope in the fifth century, and currently is a time of celebration of love and affection between intimate companions. I assume most all of that is pretty close to authoritative.
We didn’t do much to celebrate the holiday. I never like to do much to celebrate any holiday, including birthdays, and today isn’t any different. We did go to a nice Italian restaurant for Sunday dinner. It wasn’t crowded or noisy, and the food was good. We also spent the afternoon with each other, as we normally do on weekends and went to see the grandkids and took pizza over to their place this evening along with Valentine cards and candy for the kids.
A couple of observations and comments please. First, my apologies to my wife for my reluctance to celebrate this or any holiday in the traditional way. I never was comfortable doing some of the traditional holiday things. She has known that for years, but somehow I feel the need to say it again.
I want her to know that in spite of her not getting flowers or chocolates today, I love her intensely, and cherish the time we are together, even if it’s just sitting in our easy chairs watching the Olympics. When she’s gone overnight, I don’t sleep well. I notice the empty space. Things just aren’t normal. When she’s not feeling well, I don’t feel well. Again, things just aren’t normal.
Second, it’s great to be a grandparent. Who else could take pizza and candy over to a couple of pre-schoolers, let them indulge in both, and then leave after a couple of hours and have someone else deal with the aftermath?
There’s also something about the unconditional love between grandparent and grandchild that is just different from anything else I’ve ever experienced. It’s not the same as a parent/child relationship. In fact, it’s not the same as any other relationship. On this day especially, it’s a privilege to be reminded of the special bond between the grandkids and us.
I don’t know if my wife is disappointed in my lack of holiday skills or not. If she is, she doesn’t say anything about it. I am capable of a lot of things and, I suppose, could break down and get flowers on Valentine’s Day. I’d much rather, though, do something unexpected on a routine and regular day. To me, that seems more genuine than doing something on a certain day just because everyone else does it.
Tomorrow is another day.

Tuesday, February 09, 2010

Surprises Await

I’m reading a book called “Physics For the Rest of Us” by Roger S. Jones. Yes, it is what you think it may be, a book that attempts to explain modern physics in language and ways the ordinary person can understand. Although the author tried very hard to do this, he didn’t succeed, at least with me. There are places in the book that are relatively easy to understand, but there are places where it just isn’t possible to mush it all down into something that the ordinary person can swallow.
I am fascinated by modern physics…relativity, the quantum theory, the big bang, and all of that. Many of the things I do understand are just jaw-dropping. The world that we think we know of as such an orderly and predictable place is, in fact, a world of organized chaos, probability, and unthinkable truth. Imagine light slowing down inside a substance to a speed of a few inches a minute. Imagine a beam of light exiting a substance before it enters into it. Imagine a particle thousands of miles away reacting to the deliberate modification of it’s “partner” particle, with no apparent connection between the two. Imagine the fact that one can know either the movement of a particle or it’s location, but not both at the same time. Imagine something that behaves either like an electromagnetic wave or like a physical particle (commonly thought to be an impossibility due to the vastly different properties of each), depending not on anything it does, but rather depending on how it is observed. Imagine an electrical current that, once induced into it, traverses a metal for hundreds of thousands of years, yet never being replenished or decaying.
I could continue, but you get the idea. The book tries to explain the above phenomena, but I couldn’t understand it all. What I do understand, and what I take from the book is the incredible complexity of this creation.
That, friend, is a gross understatement, but it’s the best I can do. This creation is just astonishingly, amazingly, unbelievably, incredibly complex. For example, why is a crystalline substance either a conductor of electricity (metallic copper) or transparent (diamond); but not both. And how does the answer to that fit in with all the rest of the creation and enable everything else to work as it should? Yet it fits together and works perfectly; astonishingly, amazingly, unbelievably, incredibly well. We don’t know so much more than we do know, but what we do know is more than enough to be able to say that something truly unique is going on here…never in quintillions of years could all of this come together on its own.
I’m about three quarters finished with the book. Many more surprises await, I’m sure.

Saturday, February 06, 2010

The Future Visited

Is it a sign that one is getting older when his vision of the future doesn’t include anything beyond a certain number of years? Or is that just normal?
When I was much younger, my vision of the future was virtually unlimited in terms of length. I could think 20, 30, even 50 or 60 years into the future and find that I was a part of it. Now, whenever I think much beyond 20 or so years, I also think that I probably won’t be around to see it anyway, so why worry about it.
I have to wonder just how common of a thing that is. I know there may be some folks that don’t think that far ahead at all. They have concerns in the here and now, and don’t look much beyond the week or month ahead. There are others who enjoy thinking about life in the twenty-second or twenty-third centuries, and some (Gene Roddenberry, George Lucas, and others) who have made tons of money from those thoughts.
I would think, though, that as life begins to wind down, a part of that process is a change in how one thinks about things to come, as well as the things that were and are. I’m already well past the point that I think I have to scratch my way to the top of the work pinnacle, or that I have to prove my competence to someone else. Yes, I still do good work and I still give 100% when at work, but the reason for doing so is different. I’m also looking more to the time when I won’t have to punch the time clock so religiously.
This thing called aging is yet another adventure that I am witnessing in myself and in others I know and love. It, like all other of life’s adventures, is a marvelous thing to behold and presents far more questions than answers. I may no longer be seeing myself 50 or 60 years from now in the future I concoct in my mind, but I’ll still have enough to think about as time marches on.

Friday, February 05, 2010

A Place to Go

Well, folks, it’s been a few days since I’ve written, or even felt like I had something to say. It’s been cloudy, foggy, rainy, snowy, and generally dreary for more days than I care to count. I think the lack of sun truly is beginning to take a toll on me as I struggle at times to maintain a decent demeanor.
It doesn’t help that work seems to be never-ending. Additionally, things seem to never get better…we always seem to be a half-step behind the ball, catching up in some way. We hold things together, but just once I’d like to see us at the top of the hill looking down instead of struggling against the grain trying to gain a little altitude.
Maybe that’s not practical in today’s work world. As I talk with others who work in different places for different employers, it seems to be the same everywhere. Everyone seems to be peddling hard just to keep from falling off. These are the folks who have to remind themselves that they are thankful they have someplace to go at 8 o’clock on Monday morning.
And then there are those who don’t have any place to go on Monday morning. They probably haven’t had a place to go on Monday morning for several weeks to several months to even a year or more. For them, life is on a different plane. They think differently, plan differently, and act differently. Life centers on unemployment insurance, expense cuts, and possibly even acceptance of charity. They worry about health insurance, or lack thereof. They don’t sleep much some nights. And their demeanor is even harder to control sometimes.
So as I gripe about work and lack of sunshine and where I am on the hill of life, I must also think of others who have different worries and different concerns. And I indeed am grateful that I have a place to go on Monday morning.