OK, I'll Just Say It

 Good morning!

 OK, I’ll just say it.  It’s hot.  And it’s dry.  We’re in the dog days of August in late June in Kansas.  Sometimes during this time of the year, a cool front will come through and drop the temperature a few degrees for a day or so, then the heat dome builds up again and we're back in the hot soup.

We also receive tantalizing hints of rain most days.  But most days the rain doesn’t get to where we are.  The main source of water for the City of Wichita and most of Sedgwick County is Cheney Lake…but it’s getting lower and lower as the rains mostly miss the area in Kansas that drain into the lake.  We may well be receiving more water restrictions than what are now voluntary before too much longer.  We’re well below conservation pool now at the lake, and it doesn’t look like it’s going to get much better any time soon.

Of course, we could be in other parts of the Midwest where there is way too much water.  Rivers and streams are out of their banks.  Dams are in danger of collapse.  Homes and businesses are flooded.

I don’t know if you’ve been in a flooding situation or not.  As you may imagine, it’s just a mess.  Trash, mud, and general destruction is all around.  The water is polluted and not fit for people to be messing with or to be in.  The clean up is hazardous and time consuming.  Most insurance policies will not cover flooding, and flood insurance can be out of reach for many.  As I said, it’s just a mess.  I sometimes wonder if, having to choose between flooding and tornado hitting my home, I might just choose the tornado.

Of course, the heat outside is largely mitigated for many of us who have air conditioners in our homes, offices, and vehicles.  The cost of having and using that air conditioning isn’t minimal, and there are many who cannot afford it.

Then there are those who are unhoused.  They’re out in the elements whether they want to be or not.  Yes, there are public buildings where they can congregate.  And yes, there are some…I repeat SOME…shelter beds for men, women, and families.  But there aren’t nearly enough to house everyone.  Many make do by being in the shade, finding water and electrolytes in various places, and just doing without.  It’s not easy being outside in this kind of weather.  And just as it is when it is extremely cold outside, the heat takes its toll on the weak and sick.  People become ill, and some don’t make it to the next day.

So, what has all of this got to do with the Thursday Thought for this week?  Just this.  Earlier today, Curtis, our lead minister and I had a prayer time.  We try to do this every week.  Sometimes we think of those in our congregational or blood families who are hurting or in some kind of need.  Sometimes we talk about our respective work at the church.  However, our main topic of conversation today was the incredible blessings each of our families experience each day.

We talked about the fact that we have enough, and more than enough.  We thought about times when we meet and interact with those who may well not have enough…who may be alone…who may be unhoused or without transportation.

We talked some about a man who came into the office yesterday afternoon…didn’t ask for anything such as food or water…but who just wanted to be given the dignity of being heard.  He was a scruffy-looking individual.  His appearance was years beyond his actual age.  And he was a Gay man.  It was very evident his life had not been easy.  According to him, he had been turned away from some other churches that day, and ended up here in our office pouring out his soul.  We had no ready answers for him, but validated his self-worth as a human by listening.  Curtis prayed over him.  We gave him some water.  And he went on his way, at least having been afforded a dignified hearing by someone who genuinely cared.

I don’t know what your lot in life is right now.  You may be in the arms of a comfortable existence.  Or you may be in some kind of great need.  You may be the picture of health.  Or you may be battling some kind of dreaded illness.  We all are in different stages of life and living.  Regardless of our circumstance, the two greatest commands are still in force.  Love God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength. And love your neighbor as yourself.  On these hinge all that is good, right, and beautiful in life.

 Blessings,

Forever Grateful

 Good morning!

 I’m at the stage in life where I’m more apt to be sitting just thinking about things in a quiet-sort of way rather than being up and around, going 80 miles an hour to put out the next fire.  I manage to think on a lot of things during these times, some of which manage to make it into my Thursday Thought.   Such is today’s thought.

I’ve been reading portions of a sort of diary that was written by my friend Karl Detweiler, a man my age who I’ve been friends with since childhood, and was my best friend in high school.  His mom and dad were a sort of second set of parents for me.

Karl passed away several years ago due to a fast-growing, lethal cancer.  With treatment, he managed to live almost a year from the diagnosis, and during that time wrote extensively of his thoughts, feelings, and circumstance on his Facebook page.  On his passing, I took all of his posts from the time of his diagnosis to after the funeral, including some written by others, and compiled them into a booklet.  I’ve been reading in portions of that booklet recently.

One of the things I’ve been thinking of during this time is what it must be like to not have one’s spouse any longer.  Now, I’ve thought about this before now, but with the reading of some of Karl’s writing, I’ve sort of renewed those thoughts.

In my thoughts, I imagine myself in the place and circumstance that I’m in at that time, such as out in the back yard, or driving somewhere.  I imagine what my thoughts and feelings might be if I knew Pat was no longer alive.  One of those times might be when I leave the house to run an errand, and she’s still there at the house.  While on my way, I imagine what I would be doing and how I would be feeling if I knew she was no longer with me.  Now, you may think this is a little weird, and I must be somewhat strange, but if you’re anywhere near older age, with a spouse, my guess is you’ve also thought about this from time to time.

In those times when I’m running this scenario, I inevitably begin to feel, well, let me just use a few words here to describe it.  Gloomy.  Heavy-hearted.  Melancholy.  Empty.  No energy.  Loss of desire.

OK, does that give you an idea of how I begin to feel? 

Let me tell you…I can’t imagine how it must be to have lost a life partner.  Nor can I imagine how it must feel to have a marriage break apart, regardless of who was at fault.  No scenario that I can imagine regarding Pat no longer being with me can fully comprehend the emotions and the aftermath of the reality of such an event.

There may also be people in friendship relationships who suffer in the same way when that relationship goes away for whatever reason.  These friendships would be those close, extraordinarily personal relationships where two individuals become soulmate friends…then for whatever reason, the friendship dissolves.

After 50 years, my wife and I may not say 8 words to each other all evening following dinner and the clean-up of the dishes.  We may not say much more before that.  But there is a certain comfort and feeling of well-being just knowing she’s sitting in her chair with me in the family room watching TV with me, reading, doing crossword puzzles, or whatever else she may be doing.

There have been times in her career when she had to be gone overnight or over several nights.  And you know, it just wasn’t the same.  Something was missing, more than just the fact that she wasn’t there.  It was actually a kind of an eerie feeling at times, knowing I’d be the only one in the  house.

I am extraordinarily grateful that the two of us have been able to share these last fifty years together.  Obviously, it hasn’t all been rainbows and unicorns.  We’ve had our share of disagreements.  We’ve had to move more often than many in the last half-century.  And our families have endured those things that many families have had to endure.

Sometimes, I’ll do another bit of imagining.  I’ll imagine that life for me somehow had taken a different turn and I was married to a different woman…someone I know.  And invariably, I’ll quickly return to the safety and security of marriage to Pat.  And often, I’ll tell her of my imagining, and say something like, “I could probably live with that woman for about 20 minutes…then I’d be done.”

Somehow, some way, we were put together by someone who knew…who knew how this would be…who knew how we fit together.  And I’m forever grateful.

 

Blessings,

Not a Good Day

 Good morning!

 Yesterday was not a good day for me.  Oh, I was healthy enough as that goes.  I got my work done, ate well, and generally was comfortable.  But things happened yesterday in my interactions with others that I’m not pleased with.  Evidently, I was not very pleasant to be around some of the time.

I try.  I really try to be at least pleasant around others, especially when things aren’t going as I was hoping or wanting.  However, it’s really easy for me to slip into a sort of blame game or feel slighted when things like this happen.  I know that’s not the right attitude to have, and I find myself constantly working on it with seemingly not much in the way of progress at times coming from the effort.

A couple of cases in point.  I had ordered some printed material from a company I had never used before.  I had set up an account, placed the order, received a confirmation, and waited for the order to arrive.  When it didn’t arrive after a ten day or so wait, I checked PayPal to see if they had been paid.  They had been.  I then contacted the company to ask about my order.

They told me that I had ordered e-material rather than paper, and told me how to access it.  I’m not a big fan of reading books from a computer or my phone, and generally have a distaste for electronic copies of anything.  I checked my order, and sure enough, although the order page had an image of real books, at the top of the page was the disclaimer that it was e-material.

My conversation with customer service by way of email was less than rainbows and unicorns.  I broke a cardinal rule of mine to never respond immediately in a situation such as this but rather wait awhile for things to settle down and I can think more clearly and be more genteel with my conversation.  To complete the story, the customer service people were treated less than well by me in my emails to them, and in spite of that graciously and immediately refunded my payment.

On another note, it is usually easy when driving in Wichita to become irritated by something another driver does.  It could be someone speeding past you thirty miles an hour over the limit, cutting in front of you, failing to use their blinker, not starting out when the light changes to green because they’re texting, or any number of other failures.

Yesterday was especially difficult for me on the road.  I found myself criticizing other drivers rather than driving defensively and giving them the benefit of the doubt.  I really do work on this, and try to keep an even keel when driving, but yesterday was not one of those days.  I’m not a perfect driver myself, and I have no business criticizing others.  I was reminded of the words of Jesus, “Let he who is without sin cast the first stone.”  Well, that certainly applied to me.

So, today, I did a penance of sorts.  I found myself behind a vehicle on Kellogg this morning that was doing 57 miles an hour in the middle lane.  Rather than be irritated that he wasn’t going the limit, I just stayed behind him at a respectable distance and followed him…intentionally…just a few miles an hour under the limit.  He was doing nothing wrong.  Driving 57 miles an hour in the middle lane in a 60 mile limit zone is not unlawful.  It was a good lesson for me to not be in such a hurry…not criticize or make judgments…and not create stress on myself because of such a trivial matter.  The fact that everyone and their horse was passing us on both sides was not something I should be concerned about.  “I have learned to be content,” Paul the Apostle said.  Well, Paul, I’m still learning, and staying behind this gentleman for a few miles was a great example of how I sometimes make myself learn.

Paul, in his Colossian letter, also asks his fellow believers, and I quote here, to  “Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity.  And let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.”

He was speaking specifically of creating opportunities to tell the good news of Jesus Christ, but the principle holds for all of our interactions with others.  And I’m afraid I didn’t do very well yesterday with that thing about having my conversation being full of grace.  Even at this age, I’m still learning…still seeking…still refining…still growing.  And I pray you too will act in wisdom, always graceful in your interactions with others.  It’s so desperately needed in today’s world.

 

Blessings,

Why?

 Good morning!  I don’t know about you, but from time to time, life and living prompt questions in my mind for which I have no answers.  Oh, I’m not necessarily talking about questions such as “Who am I?”  “Why am I here?” and “Where am I going?”  Those kinds of questions are indeed good and proper questions everyone should consider.  But the ones I’m thinking of have more to do with what I see and hear in everyday life and conversation.  Here are a few examples.

 Why do people complain about the economy, complaining that they never have any money when I see them living in huge houses, driving seventy thousand dollar vehicles, and taking the 24 foot boat and equally fancy camper to the lake for the week?

Do they not know where their money is going?  Do they not understand how horribly expensive it is to maintain that lifestyle?  Or are they complaining because they have to pay taxes on all of that in order to fund the government?  Or is it a combination of both?

It seems to me that the priorities of some folks sometimes get mixed up.  Instead of a world view of service and generosity, it becomes one of who has the most and the biggest toys.  It becomes a world view of…well, I’ll just say it…selfishness and self-centeredness.

 And while we’re on the subject of seventy thousand dollar vehicles, why is it that people complain when the price of gasoline goes up a nickel, yet these same people seem to have no clue how to drive in a money-saving way.  They drive self-proclaimed gas hogs, drive 80 miles an hour in a 60 mile an hour zone, zip from lane to lane, accelerate quickly, brake hard, and generally become a liability on the road.

These are the same ones who are the first to spin out when the road conditions are icy…having to tow their vehicles to the body shop.  These are the ones who pay hundreds of dollars a month for insurance, yet don’t seem to understand the relationship between their driving habits and insurance costs.  These are the ones you want to avoid at all costs when on the road.

 And on the other side of the coin, what is it that prompts some people to continue giving…continue serving…continue loving…even when it hurts, and even when the gratitude is not there for what was done for others?  Where do people get the energy, the drive, and the passion for giving out water in the heat of summer to the homeless…for helping stock a food pantry that serves everyone in need…for cleaning up a grossly overgrown yard for an old veteran who is incapable of doing it himself?

What makes people volunteer for service to others…for paying the check for someone in the military at a restaurant…for giving an oversize tip to the wait person…for pumping gas for someone who has no money but needs the transportation to get to work…for driving a neighbor to her doctor’s appointment…for volunteering at the local public school…or one of any number of different acts of kindness and service?

Where does the compassion for others come from?  What makes people willing to give of their time, energy, and resources?  What is it about people that in some cases involves true sacrifice?

 And speaking of sacrifice, why is it that people will intentionally put themselves in harm’s way in order to save another person from some kind of harm or even death?  Even for someone they do not know, some people will give their lives in order to save another.  Where does that compulsion come from?  What makes people do that?

 I think I may have a handle on answers to the questions I asked first…the questions that involved what some people would call self-centeredness, greed, and pride.  However, the questions regarding service and sacrifice…I confess I don’t have the answers.  Some would say that it is the Christian or person of faith who does these things.  I agree, but I also know Christians who are self-centered and prideful.  I think they have some way to go in becoming more mature and Christ-like, but we’ll just leave it at that.  And I also know people who are nowhere close to being people of faith who exhibit great compassion and sacrifice for others.  The rule, if there is one in this case, has numerous exceptions.

 I’ll leave you with this today.  Which are you?  Are you one of those who is always complaining about life, even though you’ve been abundantly blessed with so, so much more than what is necessary for life?  Are you one of those who takes for granted the things that others are praying for?

Or are you one who, person of faith or not, is generous, giving, and yes, maybe even sacrificial in life and living?  Do you treat others, regardless of gender, race, religion, identity, or nationality with dignity and respect?

And, do you take to heart what Paul the great Apostle told Timothy?  Command those who are rich in this present world not to be arrogant nor to put their hope in wealth, which is so uncertain, but rather to put their hope in God, who richly provides us with everything for our enjoyment. ,(and then Paul says this to Timothy)  Command them to do good, to be rich in good deeds, and to be generous and willing to share.

 

May God bless you this day.