Many have talked about the changing roles that the advance
of time causes to happen to people and relationships. Erma Bombeck talked about the time she
realized that she, the daughter, was actually becoming the mother (care-giver),
and her mother was becoming the daughter (given care). James Dobson has also talked about it, as
well as many others.
And I am now seeing just the beginnings of that happening
with us. As of yet, there is nothing
that just screams out the fact of the reversal of roles, but it is there
nevertheless. The subtle changing and
passing on of roles in both traditional rituals as well as new ventures. The quiet shift of responsibility from being
the anchor in life and living to being one of the on-lookers. The casual, almost unnoticeable change in
conversation, thought process, and outlook.
Hardly noticeable, but surely the beginnings of the passing of the
torch, the handing off of the baton, or whatever other phrase one might want to
use in a situation like this.
And that hardly noticeable change will soon enough become
apparent to all, and we will all make adjustments physically, mentally, and
emotionally, as the ravages of time and the fallen creation take their toll on
this life. We will sometimes enjoy not
having to have the responsibility. But
sometimes, we will curse the sin that causes it all to come upon us and hurtles
down upon what is left of our life on earth.
Little things. Small
things.
The last few times our older son has been down and we’ve had
a fire in the fire pit out back, he was the one who got the wood, started the
fire, and tended it. That had always
been my job. And I don't mind him doing it for me.
This year, I didn’t buy any fireworks. I let the boys do the buying. And I helped them blow them up. But they were in charge.
I no longer pay for everyone for meals out. Nice change, but a noticeable shift in responsibility.
When I am working with my boys on something that is
physically demanding, they are much more apt to ask if I am OK or if they can
help. They are much more willing to step
in and carry the physical load or be the one who walks backwards up the steps
carrying some furniture.
I no longer crawl under sinks and houses like I used to
do. Other, younger people can do it much easier, and are
more willing for me to tell them what needs to be done.
And my sons sometimes remind me of things I ought to have
remembered, but they don’t make light of it so often like they used to do.
And I don’t know this for sure, but suspect that they “check
up” on us from time to time just to “be sure.”
Subtle, barely noticeable changes in the routine. Quiet shifts in responsibility. Almost imperceptible departures from what has
always been.
It’s already begun.
And I hope I’m ready for it.
