Imperceptible Change

Many have talked about the changing roles that the advance of time causes to happen to people and relationships.  Erma Bombeck talked about the time she realized that she, the daughter, was actually becoming the mother (care-giver), and her mother was becoming the daughter (given care).  James Dobson has also talked about it, as well as many others.

And I am now seeing just the beginnings of that happening with us.  As of yet, there is nothing that just screams out the fact of the reversal of roles, but it is there nevertheless.  The subtle changing and passing on of roles in both traditional rituals as well as new ventures.  The quiet shift of responsibility from being the anchor in life and living to being one of the on-lookers.  The casual, almost unnoticeable change in conversation, thought process, and outlook.  Hardly noticeable, but surely the beginnings of the passing of the torch, the handing off of the baton, or whatever other phrase one might want to use in a situation like this.

And that hardly noticeable change will soon enough become apparent to all, and we will all make adjustments physically, mentally, and emotionally, as the ravages of time and the fallen creation take their toll on this life.  We will sometimes enjoy not having to have the responsibility.  But sometimes, we will curse the sin that causes it all to come upon us and hurtles down upon what is left of our life on earth.

Little things.  Small things.

The last few times our older son has been down and we’ve had a fire in the fire pit out back, he was the one who got the wood, started the fire, and tended it.  That had always been my job.  And I don't mind him doing it for me.

This year, I didn’t buy any fireworks.  I let the boys do the buying.  And I helped them blow them up.  But they were in charge.

I no longer pay for everyone for meals out.  Nice change, but a noticeable shift in responsibility.

When I am working with my boys on something that is physically demanding, they are much more apt to ask if I am OK or if they can help.  They are much more willing to step in and carry the physical load or be the one who walks backwards up the steps carrying some furniture.

I no longer crawl under sinks and houses like I used to do.  Other, younger people can do it much easier, and are more willing for me to tell them what needs to be done.

And my sons sometimes remind me of things I ought to have remembered, but they don’t make light of it so often like they used to do.

And I don’t know this for sure, but suspect that they “check up” on us from time to time just to “be sure.”

Subtle, barely noticeable changes in the routine.  Quiet shifts in responsibility.  Almost imperceptible departures from what has always been.

It’s already begun.  And I hope I’m ready for it.