Miss Karen

Last weekend, we attended a COVID-restricted, masked and distanced funeral in the Kansas City area.  The services were for a woman, Karen, who passed away unexpectedly at her home.  We didn't know her or her husband really well.  Oh, we knew who they were and something about them, but it was our older son and his family...and especially our three-year old grand daughter Estella who really knew them.

You see, Miss Karen, as our grand daughter knew her, and Mister Steve were members of the church they all attended.  Mr. Steve and Miss Karen were retired...Steve from the railroad, and Karen as an office manager.  These two ordinary people…senior citizens...husband and wife...were Estella's surrogate grand parents from before the time she was born, and mentors to our son and daughter in law as they welcomed their first born into their family.

On the one hand, there was nothing really special about the relationship Estella had with Miss Karen and Mister Steve.  Just ordinary grand parent-type stuff…going out for ice cream, coming to her birthday party, doting over her at church.  On the other hand, the unconditional love that has been exchanged between them was palpable, on display, and obvious.  The after-church meals at the neighborhood Culvers restaurant, the times with each other at the church, the outings to football games or other places of interest, the interactions in their homes, the birthday parties, the interest that the two families took in the lives of the other...all of this and more were the glue that brought them together and fostered a relationship that will continue even though Miss Karen is no longer with us.

As I observed others at the funeral and the lunch that followed...as I heard the obituary and some things of the life of Karen, I was struck by the ordinary life she lived on the one hand, and on the other the incredible blessing she was to a now three year old girl and her mom and dad, among many others.  Karen wasn't famous.  She wasn't wealthy.  She didn’t have a position of authority.  However, being only who she was...just by being herself...she left an indelible mark on Estella and a huge hole in the church family that she was part of.

As I continued to observe and listen, I took notice of a couple of things that to me were incredibly telling in terms of just who Miss Karen and Mister Steve were to our son and family and how much they meant to each other.

First, the owner of the Culvers where they spent many lunch and evening meals, as well as a couple of the employees of the restaurant, attended the funeral, the cemetery service, and the dinner.  It isn't often that a business goes to that extent for its customers...these two families and Miss Karen especially, were obviously well liked and respected by the Culvers owner and crew.  I honestly am somewhat flabbergasted that this really happened and have no words to further describe my gratefulness for their support.

Second, it is telling that when we sat down for the luncheon meal following the funeral, Mister Steve came to our table and sat next to Estella to eat.  He could easily have been with his family or other church friends more his age.  However, he chose to sit next to this three year old unrelated girl who loves him...and he her...with a kind of bonding, unconditional love that many adults have never experienced in their lifetime.  It was a precious moment I'll always be thankful I was able to experience.  And my guess is that others in the room noticed it as well, and took note of their love and devotion for one-another.

So, while we all will greatly miss the influence and love of Miss Karen, we are comforted that she and Mister Steve…just by being themselves, offering unconditional love and acceptance…giving of themselves…have, and will continue to emulate the love of Jesus and make a huge difference in their sphere of influence.  And I suspect that a certain three year old, even though she may have only vague recollections of her time with Miss Karen when she grows up, will in turn emulate Miss Karen as Miss Karen in life followed the example of Jesus Christ, who now holds her in his arms forever.

And of course, there's a lesson here for us all.  We don't have to go to extraordinary lengths to make a real difference in the lives of others.  We don't need to be wealthy, famous, or especially educated to have a lifelong positive effect on others.  We can just be ourselves...just be who we are and use the gifts that God has given us...to cause profound and incredible change in someone else's life.  Miss Karen and now just Mister Steve knows what it means to “bloom where you're planted.”  They know what it means to share the love of Jesus Christ.  They are making their corner of the world a better place just by being themselves.  They have been, and always will be, an integral part of our Kansas City family.

Perspectives

 

I’ve finished reading a book printed in the mid 1980’s by Cliff Schimmels called “I Was a High School Drop-in.”  Dr. Schimmels, who has a Ph.D. in Educational Philosophy, was a college professor who taught students how to be teachers in secondary education.  Sometimes, as he was lecturing his students, he would realize that when he would teach his students about this way or that way to motivate students to learn, he was only guessing.  As he says on the front flyleaf of the book, “I really didn’t know what high school learners needed or wanted from a teacher…I could never know for sure what was going through the student’s mind.”  So, he decided he would become a student himself to see first hand what it was like being in high school.

He got permission from a principal that he knew to enroll as a freshman in high school.  Teachers also agreed to have him in class as a student.  Teachers were also instructed to treat him as any other student.  Schimmels went through the enrollment process, selected his classes, and started to school as a freshman, not knowing anyone else in the school.  His book is an account of that six week time period when he was a student.

I didn’t have to go far into the book in order to pretty much immediately pick up on the notion of perspective.  As an educator, Schimmels had one perspective on what it meant to teach and learn at the secondary level, and taught his own students in that way.  However, as a student himself, lugging books, being assigned a seat in class, having to study and take tests, navigating the crowded halls during breaks between classes, enduring the physical education class, not having time for lunch, and all of the other that goes with being a student, Schimmels gained a whole new perspective on what it meant to be a student, and more importantly for him, on what he needed to teach and emphasize to his own students at the college level.

He talks of the difficulties in making friends, doing the correct assignments, finding time to read all that he is supposed to read, not having time to shower after phys ed, getting demerits for not bringing his gym clothes to class, standing in lines, understanding the confusing system used to number classrooms, having to carry all of his books around all day because he doesn’t have time between classes to go to his locker, and a myriad of other things that adults may never see, but students are keenly aware of.

One incident stands out.  Schimmels was assigned a locker with a combination lock by the school already on it, and was given the combination to open it.  When, after several days he found his locker and tried to open it, it would not open.  He tried several times, then asked a student passing by if he could help.  The student, a senior, tried as well but couldn’t open it.  They concluded he had been given the wrong combination.

Schimmels went to the office to get the correct combination and was told he needed the serial number imprinted on the back of the lock.  He went back to his locker and found the number, but couldn’t read it because it was so small, and it was likewise awkward to try to hold the lock up, read the number upside down, and write it down all at the same time.  He accosted another older student who was going by, and asked him for help, saying he couldn’t read the number.  “Of course you can’t,” the older student said.  “You take a piece of paper and a pencil and trace the numbers off onto the paper.”  Students, Schimmels said, have ways of coping with the rules, procedures and annoyances that staff never sees or understands.

What Schimmels is experiencing is a different perspective on secondary education.  His Ph.D. has given him one perspective…his experience as a student has given him another, sometimes completely different perspective on the same experience.  Is one perspective correct and the other one incorrect?  No, they are both correct.  They are both valid.  They come at the subject, however, from two completely different viewpoints.  And in so doing they see things differently.

Perspective is present in virtually all of our interactions with our world.  It is shaped by our world view and in turn helps to further shape our world view.  Perspective is why eyewitnesses to the same incident don’t always see the incident the same way.  Perspective is why some people are Democrats; some Republicans, and some are Independents or other political party affiliations.

Perspective is what gives rise to differences of opinion in a committee meeting, or between family members.  It is what drives discussions, debates, ideas, and opinions.  Understanding that someone who may disagree with you does so, not out of spite or evil intent, but because they are coming at a topic from a different perspective is a great way to break down the communication barriers and have a frank and open discussion of differences with a goal of arriving at a mutual conclusion.

The old adage of walking a mile in someone else’s shoes might be appropriate here.  It means before judging someone, you must understand his experiences, challenges, thought processes, etc.  Many times, the best way to do that is to immerse oneself into a situation as best as one can, much as Schimmels became a student in order to see what it was like from a different perspective.

OK.  I need to wrap this up.  Are you beginning to see the value of appreciating the differing perspectives that relate to an issue?  Are you beginning to understand that, “My way or the highway,” is really a rather ignorant and selfish way of interacting with the world?  Giving grace to other opinions and ideas is usually not weakness…rather, it is maturity and good judgment.  Giving grace provokes much better and more productive discussion of ideas than bullying and self-righteousness ever will.

Many people, with good intentions, try to help various social ills such as homelessness, hunger, poverty, and the like.  They come at the problem with their own perspective of what needs to be done without actually understanding the issues at hand.  Before helping the homeless, it might be good to have a better understanding of the homeless culture and all that goes with that.  In helping those who are chronically hungry, perhaps it would be productive to talk with the hungry, understand their struggles, and walk with them for a time as they work just to survive.

And even in the arena of absolutes, where there is just one Way and one Truth, and I’m thinking of the Christian here, gracefully and lovingly discussing Truth with a seeker is much more powerful than forcefully shoving that Truth upon a perspective that doesn’t yet see or perceive.  Beating someone to death with the Truth only results in a dead spirit and dying human being.

I applaud Dr. Schimmels for taking on the role of a high school freshman in order to gain a different perspective.  His teaching was forever changed by what he experienced during that six-week period.

We too need to step out of our comfort zones…out of our routine…and out of our world views and experience life through the lenses of others.  Those experiences will enable us to give grace and forgiveness…qualities often sorely lacking in society today.

Unity in Diversity

 

Good morning.  I had a Thursday Thought already prepared to record for today.  The topic of that thought is “Perspective.”  And although it is, I believe, pertinent to the tragic events of yesterday, my time and yours will be better served with thoughts on the day just past.

 As I was keeping up with the events of the day, I encountered a range of emotional reaction to those events.  Although all were appalled by what was happening, some were afraid the nation would not survive the day.  Others were concerned that the whole of government would become unhinged and even further polarized than it already is.  Still others were distrustful of the media coverage, thinking it wasn’t really what it seemed to be.  A few were worried about the possible loss of life.

 My response to them all was one of acknowledging the truth of what was happening, but being optimistic about not only the survival of the republic, but one of faith in the ability of the republic to quickly regain its footing, repair its wounds, and finish the work laid out before it.  And that is essentially what has happened, as I see it, this morning.  The Congress has done its job.  The Constitution works.

 We may not have been through anything like this, with the possible exception of 9-11, in modern history.  However, our nation’s history has multiple points of contact with lawlessness which has tried to usurp the government laid out in the Constitution.  We not only have survived those points of contact; in many cases, we have been made stronger as a nation as a result of the testing of our national conscience.

 While I in no way diminish what happened yesterday, I was yesterday and remain today an optimist regarding the affairs of the nation.  There are two reasons for that optimism.  The first is that I believe there is a God who orders the affairs of humanity and the nations.  I readily confess that I don’t know exactly how that happens.  Nor do I know why things happen as they do or why God would allow this or that to happen.  But I do believe in the overarching sovereignty of God in the affairs of mankind, and am confident in His wisdom and work.  And ultimately, I rest in His love and bow my knee to Him.

 Second, I continue to have faith that most people will eventually do the right thing.  That those who wield the handles of power will, when push comes to shove, see that the foundation of the Republic remain firm.  Yes, we have problems…great and in many respects seemingly intractable problems.  Yes, we have division and there are those among us who would like nothing better than anarchy.  But I remain hopeful that, as we have done over the years, we will come through this even stronger than before…our Constitution having been tested and having come through that test of fire more refined and pure than before.

 I suppose that part of my hopefulness and optimism arises out of my work at the church.  As a shepherd, my responsibility is to lead a very diverse and unique group of individuals into a flock that is unified under Jesus Christ.  We have all kinds in our congregation.  Politically, we run the spectrum and, I suppose, have a few who aren’t even on the spectrum.  Socially, we have the homeless and the wealthy and everyone in between.  We have all ages, all backgrounds, and are becoming more and more diverse racially.  We have professionals, laborers, the retired, students, moms and dads, and some that defy placing in categories.

 Yet in all of this, our goal is to be united…to be one…to be a congregation of God’s people all having been adopted into the family as sons and daughters of God.  And the work of a shepherd is to lead and encourage that unity in the congregation even in the midst of great diversity.

 And so I encourage you as well…that even though we in this nation have great variations in background, philosophy, opinion, culture, race, and religion…we come together in unity of purpose and heart, with a genuine love and respect for others, to seek the peace and prosperity of our land, and to seek God and His will above all.