Miss Karen

Last weekend, we attended a COVID-restricted, masked and distanced funeral in the Kansas City area.  The services were for a woman, Karen, who passed away unexpectedly at her home.  We didn't know her or her husband really well.  Oh, we knew who they were and something about them, but it was our older son and his family...and especially our three-year old grand daughter Estella who really knew them.

You see, Miss Karen, as our grand daughter knew her, and Mister Steve were members of the church they all attended.  Mr. Steve and Miss Karen were retired...Steve from the railroad, and Karen as an office manager.  These two ordinary people…senior citizens...husband and wife...were Estella's surrogate grand parents from before the time she was born, and mentors to our son and daughter in law as they welcomed their first born into their family.

On the one hand, there was nothing really special about the relationship Estella had with Miss Karen and Mister Steve.  Just ordinary grand parent-type stuff…going out for ice cream, coming to her birthday party, doting over her at church.  On the other hand, the unconditional love that has been exchanged between them was palpable, on display, and obvious.  The after-church meals at the neighborhood Culvers restaurant, the times with each other at the church, the outings to football games or other places of interest, the interactions in their homes, the birthday parties, the interest that the two families took in the lives of the other...all of this and more were the glue that brought them together and fostered a relationship that will continue even though Miss Karen is no longer with us.

As I observed others at the funeral and the lunch that followed...as I heard the obituary and some things of the life of Karen, I was struck by the ordinary life she lived on the one hand, and on the other the incredible blessing she was to a now three year old girl and her mom and dad, among many others.  Karen wasn't famous.  She wasn't wealthy.  She didn’t have a position of authority.  However, being only who she was...just by being herself...she left an indelible mark on Estella and a huge hole in the church family that she was part of.

As I continued to observe and listen, I took notice of a couple of things that to me were incredibly telling in terms of just who Miss Karen and Mister Steve were to our son and family and how much they meant to each other.

First, the owner of the Culvers where they spent many lunch and evening meals, as well as a couple of the employees of the restaurant, attended the funeral, the cemetery service, and the dinner.  It isn't often that a business goes to that extent for its customers...these two families and Miss Karen especially, were obviously well liked and respected by the Culvers owner and crew.  I honestly am somewhat flabbergasted that this really happened and have no words to further describe my gratefulness for their support.

Second, it is telling that when we sat down for the luncheon meal following the funeral, Mister Steve came to our table and sat next to Estella to eat.  He could easily have been with his family or other church friends more his age.  However, he chose to sit next to this three year old unrelated girl who loves him...and he her...with a kind of bonding, unconditional love that many adults have never experienced in their lifetime.  It was a precious moment I'll always be thankful I was able to experience.  And my guess is that others in the room noticed it as well, and took note of their love and devotion for one-another.

So, while we all will greatly miss the influence and love of Miss Karen, we are comforted that she and Mister Steve…just by being themselves, offering unconditional love and acceptance…giving of themselves…have, and will continue to emulate the love of Jesus and make a huge difference in their sphere of influence.  And I suspect that a certain three year old, even though she may have only vague recollections of her time with Miss Karen when she grows up, will in turn emulate Miss Karen as Miss Karen in life followed the example of Jesus Christ, who now holds her in his arms forever.

And of course, there's a lesson here for us all.  We don't have to go to extraordinary lengths to make a real difference in the lives of others.  We don't need to be wealthy, famous, or especially educated to have a lifelong positive effect on others.  We can just be ourselves...just be who we are and use the gifts that God has given us...to cause profound and incredible change in someone else's life.  Miss Karen and now just Mister Steve knows what it means to “bloom where you're planted.”  They know what it means to share the love of Jesus Christ.  They are making their corner of the world a better place just by being themselves.  They have been, and always will be, an integral part of our Kansas City family.