Rebecca

 

Good morning.  It’s Thursday again.

 Rebecca, a good friend and former classmate, corresponds regularly with me by email.  We grew up in the same small town, which means that I knew her family well, and she knew mine.  Intelligent, ambitious, and a truly kind person, Rebecca and I had a sort of friendly rivalry going on in school in terms of grades.  It seems that she usually won that rivalry, but it was all good-natured.

Recently, she suffered the loss of an older sister to cancer and a younger brother to a sudden stroke.  Her mom passed away a few years ago, and her dad has been gone for some time.  She also lost her last uncle recently.  And her husband lost his aunt at the same time as all of this other was happening to her.

She wrote to me talking of traveling to Kansas recently to attend the services for both her brother and sister, as well as her husband’s aunt.  At the end of the paragraph she said, “I can’t stand any more losses.”

The kicker to all of this is that Rebecca has for over 20 years been battling multiple sclerosis, an insidious and debilitating autoimmune neurological ailment that causes gradual weakening and disabling of body functions.  Using a walker is difficult for her, as are many of the activities of daily living.  The medications that help suppress the out-of-control immune system also allow other illnesses to thrive that otherwise may have been controlled or eliminated before they could take hold.  I suspect that just getting out of bed and facing the day is a herculean challenge much of the time.

Rebecca told me in the last couple of sentences of her email that, “I thought I could unwind to you…I promise that my next message will be far more upbeat.”

 

I tell this story in order to give you a couple of observations.

On days when I’m feeling less than optimal, which is happening more and more frequently nowadays, I sometimes think about Rebecca and the constant level of pushback she has to give in order to just get through the day.  I can’t imagine the amount of resolve it must take for her to get out of bed and try to have a somewhat normal day.  Nor can I imagine what it must take for her husband and others to care for her and help her with her needs.  Sometimes when I would like to have a pity party for myself, I think of Rebecca and others like her that I know.  That’s all it usually takes.

Second, I really don’t mind being someone who others feel like they can “unwind” to.  I’m getting better, I think, at listening.  And I believe that I can, when asked, most times offer some kind of encouragement.  Sometimes people need someone else that they can confide in, unload on, or as Rebecca said, “unwind to.”

You may be one of those people who others have felt comfortable unwinding to.  You may think that your listening to them doesn’t really accomplish much and is such a small thing; however, in our individualistic society, people are desperate for a relationship where they feel comfortable talking about life and living.  I continue to be amazed at the loneliness many people suffer in a world where they are surrounded by others and have an almost all-consuming desire to actually connect and communicate with another human.  The need for connection is often as strong as the need for food and water.  If you can help fill that need, lower your personal space walls, open your ears, your heart, and your soul…be that connection.

And when you feel like feeling sorry for yourself because of a minor ache, pain, or setback, think of others instead.  Pray for and if possible with them.  Encourage them.  Help them with a need they may have.  Find some way to serve someone else.  Give of yourself.

Have a blessed day today.