Bearing the Pall

I was asked today to be a pallbearer at the funeral of a woman who attended our church and was a friend of ours. That is one of those things that you just say “Yes,” and do, rather than say something inane like, “I’ll get back with you on that.” I understand that not many women are ever asked to bear the casket for a friend, and I’m not sure why not. I guess it has to do with tradition, but I know that men usually do those honors. I suppose it comes from days gone by when the casket had to be carried some distance from the church to the cemetery, and men were asked to perform that service due to their relative strength.
And it is an honor to be asked and to serve in this way. Oh, I know that pallbearers are not really necessary. The funeral people are quite capable of moving the casket anywhere they need to move it with or without the help of six or eight volunteer men. But it’s just one of those things you do in honor of the deceased and to honor and recognize the family.
It also provides a connection with those traditions and customs of the past. Even though bearing the casket is no longer something that needs to be done by six or eight volunteers, there is a dignity and a solemnity to both the office and the act. The pallbearer in a real sense represents the family. He does the same act that countless men (and a few women) have done over many, many years. He serves the one whose remains lie inside the casket. And he pays his respects to the deceased, the family, and the tradition.
I’ve borne a casket several times in my lifetime. It has been an honor and privilege to serve each time I was asked. There will come a day (sooner rather than later) when I’ll not be able physically to do it any more. I never look forward to carrying a casket, but I have always done it when asked.
For, you see, the carrying of the casket is also a reminder to me that I am mortal, and that one day my remains may well be carried by men chosen by my family…men who will carry the tradition on into the next generation and one day pass it down to the generation following.