I don’t know about you, but there are times when I just have a difficult time believing. No, I’m not talking about belief in Santa Claus. I’m talking about believing in a loving and merciful God who desires the best for me and is constantly working in a thousand ways on my behalf. Oh, I know it intellectually. It’s just that it becomes difficult to keep that belief in my innermost being that many would call my heart.
Just like you, there are times in my life when
things just don’t go well for me. It’s
in those times that I tend to get in a kind of downward funk and begin to
question everything…even those things that I have known and believed for
decades…especially the things of God.
Where is this God who loves me and wants the best for me? Has He completely abandoned me in my time of
trial and need? Does He care? Is He even there?
I sometimes even fall into times like David of the
Old Testament when things weren’t going well for him, either. He wrote poetry to express his feelings. Some of that poetry has been preserved for us
in the Psalms in the Bible. Here are a
couple of examples of David crying out for relief, wondering where God is in
all of his affliction.
Why, Lord, do you stand far off? Why do you hide yourself in times of
trouble? I say to God my Rock, "Why
have you forgotten me? Why must I go
about mourning, oppressed by the enemy?"
My bones suffer mortal agony as my foes taunt me, saying to me all day
long, "Where is your God?"
Why, my soul, are you downcast? Why so disturbed within me?”
If you’ve ever felt this way, you certainly are not
alone. These times have been part of the
lives of humans for thousands of years.
We find ourselves questioning long-held beliefs about life, living, God,
relationships, and even beliefs about ourselves and our own lives.
One of my dear friends, Trinna, penned these words
some years ago following her decision to come clean, get into recovery, and
begin a new life. She had grown up in a
godly household, but took some wrong turns in life. In a vacant house on North Broadway in
Wichita some years ago, she woke up one day and decided she had had enough of
the kind of life she had been living. She
got herself into recovery, came clean and got the help she needed. She now has her family back, is married to
the man she loves, and is a shining example of what God can do in the lives of
those who call on Him.
Nevertheless, her recovery didn’t come without pain
or doubt. She penned these words in
addressing how she felt during some of those darker days. I quote her here:
I would be lying if I didn’t say there were days I
had a hard time believing. There were
days I cried that turned into weeks of grieving. Many mornings waking up “knowing” of his
mercy being new but in my heart misplacing this truth with my painful
feelings. But I can honestly say I never
lost hope in God's will. I didn’t know
when. I didn’t know how but I had tasted
and seen that he was good before a single material blessing so I had hope on
the darkest days. I also always
remembered a quote by John Piper that I had heard when I first got saved. “God is always doing 10,000 things in your
life, and you may be aware of three of them.”
So even through the push and pull of anger and
thankfulness, grief and joy...no sight and seeing...patience and anxiety,
prayers and distance...spirit and flesh...being tossed by the wind to
remembering to whom I belong...His goodness prevails. Always.
There is no power in the universe that can stop God from fulfilling his
totally good plans for you.
She’s right, you know. It doesn’t take material blessings for you to
know that God is good. And you really don’t
have the foggiest clue of all of the things God is doing in your life that are
molding you into someone who is looking more and more like Jesus.
We have such a limited understanding
of the greatness of God…of the work of God in our lives. We only dimly recall the past, and the future
is unknown to us. But God, who knows it
all, always works for our good…always loves us…always is merciful…always is
good.
Trinna, I hear you. Even in the dark times of life, God’s
goodness prevails. Always.
Blessings,
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