I’d like to share with you something I wrote on another’s Facebook page. She asked if we are to forgive others even when they persist in wrong doing. There were many comments on that topic, and a few on related topics. My own belief is that we have no choice in the matter. I believe God has made it quite clear that we are to forgive…not for the benefit of the other person necessarily, but for our own benefit, well-being, and sanity. And we are to forgive even though one "persists in wrong doing," as the questioner said. One only need think of Jesus on the cross asking God to forgive his killers, Stephen in Acts doing the same, or in the present day, the Amish a few years ago as they forgave the killer of their children as they were at Amish school.
This also demonstrates God’s forgiveness of us, even though we persist in wrong doing (As Paul said, “I do those things I do not wish to do, and do not do those things I know I should do. Wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me…?) even as Christians.
The discussion took a tangent of what is right and what is wrong, and how we deal with that in others. The rest of this blog is my response to that question. I commend it to you as my poor effort to make some sense out of judging, forgiveness, tolerance, right and wrong, and our relationship with God and others.
I am not the final arbiter of what is right and wrong for another. I have no business telling someone else for example, that they cannot divorce...I have to decide for myself what, if anything, the Bible has to say about that and about my specific situation. There isn't much that is clearly black and white in Scripture. That's by God's design. He has set us free from the law and has put His Spirit in our hearts and His word on paper (so to speak) to guide us...not guide others.
One thing is clear. Romans 14 and others (I Corinthians 8 to 11) talk of some things being wrong for some but not wrong for others. There ARE such things in the world, and I don't have a monopoly on the "correct" list of such.
The brother will stand regardless of his stance on the issue because God will make him stand, Paul says. Evidently, God doesn't care one way or the other on many issues as long as we love one another, forgive one another, and don't judge one another, violate our consciences, or cause another to stumble.
That's a pretty tall order. It's a lot easier to have a handy list of "rights and wrongs" we can pull out and use on others instead of loving, forgiving, deferring to, and encouraging. If we want to have a list for ourselves, that's our business. We dare not use our lists on others. That is, in my view, presumptuous to say the least and putting ourselves in God's place (as Judge) at worst.

Potpourri

Well, it's Saturday. Hotter than the blazes has it been the past few days, with no relief in sight. And that's actually a good thing around here because the wheat farmers have had enough of the rain. It's a muddy mess out there in the fields, but that process (harvest) needs to happen, and soon.
The wife has been away for a few days. She's attending a national nurses' association meeting in D.C. this week. She'll be back in Wichita tonight, probably rather tired and ready to be home. I'm ready for her to be here too, as it's just not the same when someone you've lived with for all these years isn't here.
I have several things to do today to make ready for the coming week. There is a wedding in our family a week from today, and we're having house guests and will be continuing to be together after the nuptial festivities. So I have some house cleaning to do today, yard work, going to the store...well, I think you know the drill.
Yes, I clean house. Yes. I go to the store. Yes, I even clean toilets and mop the floor. I don't necessarily relish those jobs, but don't mind doing them. Besides, what else am I going to do today? Golf? Nah. Lake? Why? Besides, many of those kinds of things take money; I have better things to do with mine than give it to some of those kinds of things.
Of course, there are always some exceptions to that. The IMAX in Hutchinson has a movie on now about the Hubble telescope I'd like to see. And I did go out with family last evening to TGI Fridays for dinner. Now, that was an experience made great by the waiter who served us. Personable, funny, competent, and helpful, he made an otherwise routine dining experience one we will remember for awhile.
I need to get on with life today. Move the wash along. Make the bed in the spare room. Clean up the kitchen. Etc Etc. Until next time...

Trivia

The fin whale can live to age 94, swim up to 25 miles an hour, weigh as much as 150,000 pounds, and its tail can develop 200 horsepower of energy. They eat up to 2 tons of food a day. Newborns are 21 feet long and weigh about 2 tons. Just sayin...

Not Too Early

“I am so tired!” That’s a statement I hear more than I care to hear…not from staff at work…not from my wife…not from myself. I heard it again just today. A daughter of a resident in our nursing home (where I work) was talking with our social worker today, in obvious distress. Her father had been in our care for some time, and is probably in his last days and weeks of life. The family has been very supportive of their loved one, and his care needs, while physically are being met by us, are still great upon this family. The stress that is placed upon this daughter is evident.
I feel greatly for families in this situation. Even though their loved one is being cared for as best we can, there is still great stress and strain upon the family and upon the relationships in that family. People age many years in just a relatively few months. The best (and worst) in familial relationships many times comes out into the open, sometimes for the first time.
Yes, sometimes families bring on added stress by virtue of choices, present and past, that may not have been the best (or just plain bad). But many times there is just the strain of caring for a loved one in the last stages of life, attending to their needs and trying to be strong while they hold things together, juggle responsibilities, maintain their own families, and make decisions. Sometimes families work together in these situations; sometimes one family member has it all thrust upon him or her.
I have to wonder sometimes just how productive it is to lengthen life, given that it often comes with diminished quality and frequently ages the caregivers in the family unit far beyond the chronological calendars. I don’t advocate euthanasia at all, but believe there must be some way to make informed, moral, intelligent decisions regarding medical care.
Families also need to be proactive and develop good relationships, plan ahead, and be ready for the time when mom and dad, or older brother, or whoever, may be in such condition as to require care in a facility or some such. To not do so is to be in denial of the inevitable, and is not a loving response to family and friends.
We all have trials. We all have crosses to bear. To do so with grace, dignity, and appropriate action is a worthy goal which requires some thought and planning. Now is not too early.

Monday All Over Again

You know, it’s kind of funny that I gripe and complain when there is a lot planned on a weekend…going here or there, fixing this or that, attending some meeting or going on a trip somewhere. I long for days when there’s nothing much planned and the time is open. Today is one of those days, and although there are things I can (and will) do, such as starting some laundry, cleaning up the kitchen, etc., there’s no place that I have to be at a certain time and no one that I have to meet at a certain place.
So I putter around with a cup of joe in hand and the newspaper beside me, watching a Saturday morning news show on the tube. I then wonder what I’m going to do with the next several hours.
Oh, I’m not complaining, mind you. I’m just not used to the unstructuredness of it all. I’m more tuned in with having to constantly prioritize my responsibilities (at work) and adjust what I’m doing, sometimes minute by minute, against those priorities. When that doesn’t happen, I feel just a bit lost as I sort-of wander through time.
The feeling is good, though. My brain can relax and recharge, and the rest of me can just sort of go with the flow. Soon enough, it will be Monday all over again.

Know What is Important

It won’t be but about four more days and we’ll be saying, “Where has the summer gone?” I know, I know, we’ve just started, but it seems like we hurtle from one thing on our calendars to the next, stopping only briefly for food and rest. The summer is as packed as the rest of our year, with this trip, that wedding, another vacation, and we must take time to enjoy our time off.
If I seem a little cynical, I am. I can’t change what is, but I do so long for the days of summer that seemed endless…a whole three months of time to fill with whatever came into a boy’s head. Yes, there was work, and lots of it. We moved irrigation pipe and ran cattle on the farm, besides the tractor-driving and the other things that would crop up from time to time. Dad would sometimes have me work with him on his second job in plumbing and electrical service. And there were always green beans to pick, eggs to gather, corn to hoe, yard to mow, or potatoes to dig. If that wasn’t enough, there were dishes to wash, laundry to hang on the line, a floor to sweep and mop, or a room to pick up. We never lacked for anything to do.
Yet, it seemed that the days would last forever, and September and school were far, far away. Now, though, they are just around the corner, and can Thanksgiving be far behind? Then comes the Christmas “stuff” and the new year is fast upon us…another year older, but hopefully not deeper in debt, to borrow a phrase.
Thankfully, I’m not sitting home looking at the help wanted ads and posting a resume on some web site that will never see the virtual light of day. If I was doing that, the days truly would drag on and on…I want no part of that. I have a job to go to, and am grateful for what it provides. Sometimes in the middle of the turmoil, I have to stop and remember to thank God for it, else I lose sight of what is important and what is not. And, no, I don’t mean that the job is all important. I mean that my relationship with the God that provides all, and my relationship with other people are what are truly important.
So, as you too progress through these summer days along with all the rest of us, remember what really is important, and what is just on the periphery.
I asked an older gentleman who was having difficulty getting into the home this afternoon (he was a visitor, not a resident) how he was doing. I asked because he paused for some breaths before going into the home. It had been a short walk from his vehicle and there were no steps. Obviously, he had some kind of medical issue that caused his shortness of breath. I was asking him to give him an opening to ask for help. He said instead, “I am blessed.” Not expecting that answer, I asked him if he needed help. He instead volunteered to help me finish my job (the reason I was out there in the first place). I said I was fine, but did hold the door open for him as he went in.
That man knew what was important.