Alan

 Good morning and welcome.  Let me tell you a true story.

 A couple of days ago I was working in the office in the early afternoon along with Marria, our office manager.  The day was quiet and I was working on a future Bible class lesson and catching up on some reading.

I noticed that the outside office door bell had rung, which wasn't unusual.  Most deliveries, church members, and others come to that door in order to be let in or conduct some kind of business.  Marria answered the door via telephone, then came to my office telling me that a man was at the door wanting to use the phone.  She asked if I might know the man.

I went to the door and opened it to a man I didn’t know who was clean, but rather rough-looking.  I'll call him Alan.  I asked Alan what he needed, and he explained that he needed to use the phone to call his parole officer.  He said he had been to the library, city hall, the county courthouse, the jail, and a couple of churches.  No one would let him use the phone.

Alan said he had just been released from El Dorado corrections early that morning, and was supposed to report to his parole officer in Salina, but had missed his bus connection to Salina.  He needed to contact his officer to let her know where he was.

I don't know how I make these decisions, but in that 45 or so second conversation, I determined he was probably safe, and let him in to the outer office where there are chairs and an end table.  We have an older-style portable phone connected to our system that someone like Alan can use, so I got it for him.

He had several papers with him, along with a boarding pass for the Beeline bus  from Wichita to Salina...the bus had left at shortly after 8am that day.  There were several numbers on those papers, so we tried calling the ones we thought would be helpful.  One was in Topeka.  One in Salina.  One in Wichita, and a couple of others were on those papers as well.  The Salina number was the best option, but no one answered the phone.  Other numbers resulted in either voicemail or being put in a, “Press 2 for …., Press 3 for..., and so on.”  None of them yielded any help.

While Alan and I were trying to formulate our next move, I asked if he would like something to eat.  We have some snack-type food in the office, so I gave him some of that and some water.  He also needed the restroom.  Sometimes even the restroom is a blessing.

It seemed obvious to me that the gentleman was really trying to do the right thing by contacting his parole officer.  While we were working with the phone and numbers, I found out that Alan was taken from El Dorado corrections early in the day and dropped off at the Wichita bus station...the OLD bus station that now sits empty.  Alan wasn't from Wichita, had never been here, and had no clue where he was to go or what he was to do.  He had no idea where the new bus station was, so he began to wander the streets downtown asking for help or a phone.  He received no help that he told me about.

So, later in the day, just a couple of blocks from the library, Alan found RiverWalk Church.  His bus had left hours ago, and he was no longer needing to get to the bus terminal, but rather had to contact his parole officer if possible.  We continued to try numbers, and eventually re-dialed the Salina number.  The Salina parole officer who Alan was supposed to report to answered the phone this time.

Alan tried to explain the situation to her.  However, as he was missing several teeth, his speech wasn't clear.  I suggested to Alan that I visit with the parole officer.  He agreed and handed me the phone.  After explaining who I was and what the situation with Alan was, she got her supervisor, putting him on speaker phone.  I also put our phone on speaker so Alan could hear us all.  While we were talking, the supervisor tried to contact the Wichita parole office, but was unsuccessful.  They suggested that we hang up while they continue to try to find a solution for Alan, who had no place to go that night and no way to get to Salina.

A few minutes later, the Wichita parole office called us and said that they would be picking Alan up and taking him to the Rescue Mission for the night.  The Salina parole office then called back a couple of minutes later telling me they had contacted the Wichita parole office.  They told me the same thing and further explained that they had arranged for someone to get Alan the next morning and take him to Salina.  They also spoke directly to Alan, telling him about the arrangements.

In a few minutes two parole officers came to the church and got Alan.  He took his leftover snacks and went to their car.  I followed him, thanked the officers for their service, shook Alan's hand, gave him a side hug, and he departed with them.

I will tell you that I was unable by church policy to take Alan to the mission.  I cannot give someone a ride that I do not know, for obvious safety reasons.  I will say that Curtis, our lead minister, told me while I was waiting for the Salina parole office to call back that he and I could both go to the mission with Alan as a passenger if needed.  I agreed, but suggested we allow the parole office to find a solution if at all possible.  And they did.

There are some takeaways about this story I'd like to share.

First, why did they drop Alan off at an empty, dark, and obviously vacated building that used to be a bus terminal?  What kind of person does that?

Second, Alan should have been able to have visited with a live person who could have provided real help and assurance after just a couple of phone calls.  That was not the case, and his frustration was evident.

Third, why was it so difficult for Alan to find a phone he could use?  Why were those he encountered while he wandered the streets of Wichita not more helpful?

 

Obviously, I don't have the answers to these questions, and it all seemed to work out in the end.  Once we were able to speak to a live person, things starting moving and Alan was taken care of.

I guess my other question would be, what would Alan have done had we not opened our door to him and let him use the phone?  What if I hadn't assured the Salina parole officer of Alan's desire to do the right thing?  What if he had been left to navigate this situation on his own?

I don't know what he was in prison for.  I didn't ask and he didn't volunteer.  He was, however, obviously grateful for our help.  And I'm grateful we were there to help, thanks to the RiverWalk congregation who finances the office and the staff through the weekly collection.  May we always glorify God in our dealings with others.

Absolutely Safe

 As you may know, I follow a woman on social media in Washington State who goes by Farmer Girl.  She posts often about her work and about her faith.  In a recent post, Farmer Girl asks this question:  If you could do absolutely anything you wanted, and you were guaranteed that you would be completely and absolutely safe, what would you do?  For many of us, the answer might be to sky dive, drive a race car, climb Mount Everest, or some other similar feat.  But, she says, for many women who would answer that question, their response would be that they would go for a walk.

Yes, they would go for a walk if they were somehow guaranteed complete safety.  Because being “out and about” for a woman generally is vastly different than for a man.  Farmer Girl goes on to explain further what many women have to mentally go through in order to be out and “on display,” so to speak.  Here’s what she says:

I don't think a lot of men realize how much mental math women do without even noticing anymore.  Who is behind me?  How long has that car been behind me?  Did they just make the same turn?  Okay, that's two turns.  Three.  Four.  Don't go home.  Where can I go instead?  Somewhere with people?   Cameras?  Law enforcement?  (When) the same vehicle has followed you through four different turns, you decide that no, we are absolutely NOT showing this stranger where we live tonight.

And it isn't just driving.  Park under the light.  Have your keys ready.  Look in the back seat.  Lock the doors when you get in.  Don't sit in the car staring at your phone.  Don't walk with both headphones in.  Notice who's behind you.  Notice the car that's been there too long.  Notice exits.  Notice when something feels off.  Eventually none of this even feels like taking safety precautions anymore.  It's just normal.  It's something women learn to do almost automatically, usually without announcing it and sometimes without even realizing how many little decisions they're making because of it.

This is Jay again.  I always knew that it was different, generally, for women than for men when going out in public.  But this post by Farmer Girl refreshed my thinking and gave me new appreciation for what many of us have to do to be safe in this (or any) society.

A similar thought process was brought to my mind just a couple of weeks ago when I visited our food pantry when it was open.  Usually, there are several women there along with a couple of men, but this time, only three women were working there.  We talked about the fact that they were a bit uneasy that day, and just felt more safe with a man around, not that they had been in any danger that day.  It was just that the women who worked there felt more comfortable dealing with whoever came to the door of the pantry if a man was present.

Some years ago, we were house parents at a home for girls and young women.  The relief house, where the girls went when we had our week off was staffed by a single woman.  Coming back to our home following our return to duty, one of the girls told me that she felt safer, as she said, “having a man in the house.”

Before we go any farther, you need to know that I am not in any way saying that this is a universal thing for all women.  Nor am I saying anything about any supposed superiority of males.  We can rail against sexism and our unsafe streets all we want, but the sad fact is that many women not only are taught from a young age on how to protect themselves, but actively practice it whenever they go out for any reason.  It is just a part of the DNA of many women to know and to practice this kind of safe movement in society.  And it’s a fact that it’s part of that same DNA for many women to generally feel more safe when a trusted man is in the vicinity.

I once was visiting with a female friend in my office who is a social worker.  She and I have for years, and still do coordinate with each other at times to provide some kind of help for a client of hers, or for someone who may come to the church for some kind of help.  My friend also had a long history of abuse by men in her life and background.

We were in my office visiting when she said something about not trusting men and being very careful to not unknowingly encourage an encounter or a relationship.  However, she and I had developed a good relationship such that we considered ourselves friends.

I asked her what was different about our relationship that allowed her to open up to me in ways that she would never have done with another man.  She simply said, “I feel safe with you.”  I must say that at the time, I didn’t quite understand even with that statement what made the difference.  And I’m not sure I do even now.  However, it is gratifying to me that I am able to, at least for a short time and in whatever way, allow her to let her guard down and just enjoy the friendship.

I confess I don’t fully “get it,” when thinking about this topic.  I only hope that I will continue to be someone who doesn’t make a woman any more nervous and stressed than she already is, and that I can at times help women relax a bit and find more enjoyment rather than having to constantly be on the lookout for some nefarious character who is out to do harm.

Farmer Girl also speaks of what it will be like in heaven for women to just be safe.  Here’s what she says.

I think heaven is going to feel different in a way we can't completely understand yet.  Of course there are a thousand bigger and more important things about being with God for eternity.  But I wonder sometimes what it will feel like to simply be safe.  Completely safe.  Not “I checked the locks” safe.  Not “someone knows where I am” safe.  Not “I have a plan if something happens” safe.  Not safe because I was careful enough.

Safe because there is nothing left to fear.

No looking over your shoulder.  No listening for footsteps.  No watching headlights in the mirror.  No calculating exits.  No wondering whether the person approaching you means you harm.  No little part of your brain quietly standing guard while the rest of you tries to enjoy the evening.

Just safe.

End of Year

 If you see much television from the local stations this time of the year, you know we are inundated with campaign election commercials.  And yes, the word “inundated” is the correct word.  It seems like the campaign commercials are even outpacing the injury lawyer commercials, which in itself is quite an accomplishment.

The commercials this election cycle seem to be especially nasty, at least in Kansas.  There are two state-wide races…one for Governor and the other for US Senator.  These two have captured the attention of election pollsters and pundits from all over the nation.  These races may well define Kansas politics for the next several years to come.

Many of the commercials are placed by PACs…Political Action Committees…organizations which are hiding the identities of those who are actually funding the ads.  Those ads seem to be especially vitriolic this year.  Many of those ads spout information that sometimes resembles the truth, but for the most part is garbage dressed up in a slick outfit.

There is one refreshing ad on local TV, though…that of Congressman Ron Estes.  Estes has a simple ad which tells of one of the things he helped with over the past few years…the aviation industry in Kansas.  As I said, the ad is simple, direct, and as far as I can see, truthful.  Estes comes across as likeable and friendly.  He doesn’t pillory his competition.  In fact, he never mentions his competition, but rather speaks of some of his accomplishments and his continued attention to not only aviation, but also to the pocketbooks of citizens.

I don’t know whether I will vote for the Congressman or not.  As an Independent, I have disagreed with Estes on several of his votes these past couple of years.  However, I really appreciate his ad, and have contacted his Wichita office just to let them know that I have appreciated how he has so far conducted his campaign.

Of course, before the campaign ads are finished, we will soon have the Medicare enrollment ads suffocating us.  They all want us to sign up for their Advantage plans, and dangle all of these “extra” benefits such as dental services, money for over the counter medications, help with grocery buying, and so on.

What they DON’T tell you is their poor reimbursement rates for medical services and the fact that many providers are “out of network” or don’t accept their insurance for that very reason.  I think most of these ads are borderline con jobs.  They tell just enough of the truth to avoid being hauled up on fraud charges, yet they don’t tell the whole truth.  In my opinion, they are enticing people to sign up for something that in many cases will not be adequate for them.

Now, I’m not saying that all Advantage plans are bad and that everyone should avoid them.  You need to do your due diligence, do your research, get unbiased information…yes, that information is available…and make an informed decision as to what is best for your specific situation.  However, to make a decision simply based on a TV advertisement is NOT making an informed, researched decision.

These last months of the year 2026 will be interesting to say the least.  There will be political intrigue and fallout from the election, some unexpected shenanigans from the lame-duck congress, and continued ideological division among the population.

We are also entering the winter season, which brings about its own uncertainty regarding the depth of the cold and snows, and whether we’ll have a severe ice event with power outages and disruptions.  Or will the season be warmer than normal with little in the way of moisture and an early spring.

This is also the time of year when flu, colds, and other such ailments seem to come out of hiding to infect us.  Many of us will be vaccinated, but some won’t.  This will inevitably bring out the anti-vax crowd telling us that vaccines will kill us all.  And there will be those on the other side with just the opposite speech.  Again, do your research, get  unbiased information, check with your medical provider, and do what is best for you.

This winter, some of us who are already medically compromised may well succumb to some virus or disease this winter.  Others of us may find out for the first time we have a serious medical condition that may or may not be treatable.

And then there are the holidays…Thanksgiving, Christmas, the new year.  Each of those holidays has personal meaning for each of us.  Some of us find great joy in the celebration.  Others of us reminisce or perhaps become melancholy because of some past event.  And there are some of us who just don’t celebrate at all.  To each his own, and may God’s blessing be upon us all as we hurtle into these last few months.

Blessings.