That Old Feeling

A day or two ago, I decided to clean out the storage space we have in our basement…you know, the place with the pipes, electrical panels, etc. That’s the space where everyone stores Christmas decorations, old photos, boxes of assorted “stuff”, and whatever else that doesn’t otherwise have a place.
I came across a box that had cassette tapes in it. Now, I’m not that modern, as I have a cassette deck in my pickup (1998 model), and our stereo in the basement has a cassette deck in it, along with a CD player/changer. So cassettes are still fine with me. I looked through the tapes and threw away a lot of them, but came to a few that weren’t labeled and were homemade. So I put them into the player to see what they were, so I would know whether I wanted to save them or not.
One tape, when I hit the “play” button, sounded like some kind of “911” conversation. Not knowing what it was, I listened some more. Turns out it was a copy of the tape (they had tapes at that time, not e-storage) of an auto accident in Harper County that resulted in three injuries, one serious. Dispatch recorded (and still does) all conversations, radio traffic, etc. at all times, and this was a copy of about two hours of that traffic in the 911 center. I haven't a clue how or why I have the recording.
I happened to be on duty for EMS that day and took the first-out ambulance to the scene. I drove. I don’t recall who my crew mate was…probably someone who also worked at the hospital. We had a one-vehicle accident and three victims. We had plenty of help as the fire department’s Rescue Squad 3 and Engine 8 responded along with several bystanders, including an RN who was also an EMT.
We ended up calling for two more ambulances to help transport the wounded and called a helicopter to the hospital from Wichita to transport the serious victim. Everything is caught on the recording, and I can be clearly heard several times on the EMS radio frequency. Another man I worked with, now deceased, was on the second-out ambulance and can be heard as well.
The thing that struck me was how easily I was transported back some fifteen years ago to that time. Suddenly, Bill was our EMS director, I was on the ambulance, Terry was the sheriff, Pam was the nurse on duty, and Guy (the now-deceased) could be absolutely relied on, as usual, to fill any of a multitude of roles…this time as the second-out unit driver. The adrenaline started up again, just as it did those years ago. My 60-some year old body was again about 45 and more able to run, lift, and carry. And, that old feeling came back for a short time as I listened to the tape. There’s a certain feeling…some describe it as a rush; others as a satisfaction. Still others describe a sense of well-being and camaraderie that happens when diverse people with different abilities work together under pressure for the common good. Thinking I had gotten rid of it long ago, surprisingly, now I know I didn’t, and probably never will.
It was also good to hear, for the first time, the EMS director tell the 911 dispatcher at the conclusion of the incident that things went well; that he did not feel the need to personally go to the scene, and that it was handled well by competent volunteers and staff. As I was part of that staff, it made me feel good to receive validation, even at this late date, for a job where I know we had done our best.
There are things I’ve done in the past for which I wish I had tapes. I could easily have made a tape of my last DJ (disk jockey) broadcast back in 1981, but didn’t. I could have made a tape of one of my weathercasts on television during that same era, but didn’t. And until now, I had only some EMS pins, a nametag, and my old EMT state certification card to remind me of some of the best moments of my life…those times when I was able to make a difference in the life of someone else. I probably won’t play that tape more than one or two more times in my lifetime, assuming I live to a normal age. But it’s satisfying just to know it’s there, and to know also that our work then was truly appreciated by the Director.
I continue to try to make a difference in someone’s life, I think. My EMS and probably my healthcare days are over. In a way, I mourn that because I enjoyed it so. But I can help out in other ways. I don’t always succeed, and sometimes fail miserably, at least in my view. But as long as I’m given breath and life, it seems like it’s my responsibility to use what few abilities I have to help make someone’s corner of the world just a little better.