Cloudy Is Relative

It’s been cloudy most of the day today, and is supposed to rain later this evening. The weather has matched my mood for most of this day. Is that supposed to happen with regularity?
My day started with a visit to the hospital where a friend was having surgery to remove an infected toe. She has had continuing issues with this, and has had one toe removed already. They now have to remove the next one and tell us that she probably will have to have the others removed at some future time.
I’m not sure how one walks and balances without toes. We never think of them until and unless they hurt. We ignore them, step on them, mash them, crowd them into too-small shoes, and generally behave badly toward our toes.
But for some folks, toes are very important. Some have had their toes transplanted to their hands to replace missing fingers or thumbs. Some use their feet and toes as hands and fingers because they have no arms or their arms have no hands. Many of us use our toes to maintain balance, walk normally, and make us feel pretty (painted toenails!!).
The real issue here is that she is a hairdresser. I have to wonder just how she will be able to maintain her business and do all of the standing that she needs to do in order to wash, cut, and style hair. She’s in her early 50’s, and has a lot of living to do yet. She’s also a recent widow, and lost her father about the same time she lost her husband. She’s had her share of grief and pain.
I feel so helpless, sometimes, in my ministerial role. Like Father Mulcahy on M.A.S.H., I sometimes feel like it’s others that do the real work and I just pray and offer words of comfort. Many times I feel like it’s too little, too late. Then I look at my self-pitying and ask myself if I’d rather be in a hospital with a couple of toes cut off.