That Old Feeling

I was driving down Southwest 29th Street today minding my own business when I faintly heard (above the public radio classical holiday piece of the hour) what I thought was a siren or a horn. I looked into my rearview mirror and saw an ambulance careening up the road, partially in the left turn lane, and partially in the inner, or passing lane of the four-lane road. I quickly got over to the right and stopped.
The ambulance went by me doing probably 45 or 50 miles an hour, using the siren and air horn all the way. It was going relatively fast, but the driver was using good judgment, it seemed. There was a sense of urgency in this 10-39 (police jargon for lights and siren) run that I don’t often see in my community. I could only imagine that they were going to a severe trauma, code blue, or perhaps a 10-48 (jargon for an auto accident with injury).
As an EMT myself, I know first hand what it is like to drive down a busy thoroughfare with that sense of urgency. I know the rush and thrill that comes when using lights, siren, and air horn. I know what it feels like when others pull over, and what it feels like when they don’t. I know that the crew was probably thinking and planning their actions once on the scene. One of the crew members could have been in the back pulling equipment. I also know what accident scenes, trauma scenes, suicide scenes, and medical scenes look like, sound like, and smell like.
I pulled into the shopping center I was headed for, and made my purchase. When I came back to my vehicle, that old adrenalin rush feeling I got when I first saw the ambulance was still with me, even 10 or more minutes after the encounter with it. For a brief time, I wished I had been driving that rig. Then I stopped and realized that I probably would not renew my certification after 2006, and that my career as an EMT effectively was over when we moved to this area.
I am beginning to put this part of my life, as I have so many other parts, into the file of “been there, done that” with no practical inclination to ever retrieve it from there. I know I’ve probably driven an ambulance 10-39, as well as some other things, for the last time. EMS has been a huge part of my life for the past 15 years. It is rapidly becoming one of those last time things. I am sorting through the files. I am assembling memories and memorabilia. And I am thanking God that I was privileged to be part of something good and noble and right…to serve my friends, acquaintances, strangers, and those I love. It’s been a good ride (err…pardon me…a good drive).