Vicious Circle

I’m not sure why I feel more like writing this week. Perhaps it’s an attempt to outwit the winter blahs. Maybe I’m doing it because I feel “closed in” by the bad weather, ice and another approaching snow storm. Or it could be that I feel very inspired this week…nah.
I wonder why we have to have reasons for the things we do. It seems that I always try to attach some kind of reasoning to my actions (or inactions). That seems to give them validity and meaning of some kind that doesn’t seem to be there those few times when I don’t bother to go through the rationalizing process.
Aahhh, there it is. Rationalizing. “To explain one’s behavior plausibly without recognizing true motives.” Could it possibly be that I am rationalizing when I try to explain in my mind why I am doing or not doing something? Could it be that I’m covering up some kind of behavior that isn’t good for me by telling myself some cockeyed explanation of why I need to do it or avoid doing it? Am I trying to cover up my true motives by engaging in the justification process? Would I be doing myself a favor by not rationalizing and justifying everything? Maybe if I gradually quit....
I think my head’s beginning to hurt. Because, you see, I’m doing it again. I’m trying to justify why I have to justify everything. I'm rationalizing my habit of rationalizing! AAARRRRGGGG!!!